Monday, March 27, 2006
i'm glad
some of your frens are backstabbing you, so really be careful
---
that was part of a message sent to me earlier on saturday when i was wakeboarding. for a while i couldn't concentrate but i didn't wanna waste my bucks so i steered my energy to wakeboarding.
durin the weekend i was reflecting and i hate to say it but i cried. i tell you brooding does shit to people, especially their emotional well-being. i wasn't angry or pissed at the people who were apparantly backstabbing me (after all, i'm not perfect and it's kinda normal for ppl to talk) but i was more disppointed at the fact that i wasn't good enough. for the past few mths i've been battling this issue of not being good enough for certain individuals. that message made me feel worse- i was disappointed at myself for well, not being good enough for those 'backstabbers***'. for some reason i felt really alone. i almost convinced myself that i had no friends. i know it sounds really dramatic and somewhat silly but trust me at that point in time, i felt really low.
anyway i cried and started brooding even more. i was lamenting to a close friend that i especially missed cheng and susu. i missed their presence. hmmm...
hmm that aside, i was quite surprised to get a card tday. =))) this early advanced birthday card was from a buncha peeps all the way from melbourne. it almost made me tear. =') special shoutout to these peeps...
Chiang Wey
Viv
Rod
Wendy
Suet Li
Peter
Winson
Christie
Cheng
Danny
Trs
Ryan
(someone else...whom i can't decipher his/her handwriting)
thanks guys (i know some dun read my blog, please help me convey the msg to them). i know i may not be that close to some of u but i really thank you for making my day and reminding me that i'm not alone =)
I'm really glad...
...to have gone to Monash.
i really am.
---
*** a message to ANYONE who claims to be my friend: if you have an issue with me, jolly well talk to me straight in the face. i'd rather you tell me an issue or watever fuck than be unhappy, brood and tell other people crap. and if you think that u're better than me, think again. you have no reason nor right to judge me. so stick it up yours if you are a wuss and decide to be malicious bitch (backstabbing me and all).
renzi kissed and swore @
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Thursday, March 23, 2006
i would sound like a jerk.
waiitnf for the bus today. i missed the bus AGAIN....darn...like thrice this week. bahhh
hmm another uneventful day, except for dinner with the guys (and having a physical reaction to msg bahhh). i managed to meet rongyang and alvin for dinner (in crystal jade) and surprise, surprise, in TAMPINES. i'm really getting sick of tampines but i'm not complaining no more about the location, because i'm going to lament about something more important. *snigger*
on my way to work yestreday. damn it...my tan's horrible. uneven!
yucky food at billy bombers but thankfully great company! me and my ARNNNIIEE BABYYYYY
mucking around when anne wanted a proper shot...hahaha i can't do proper shots...
well...first...i met karen (who was with her colleagues) yesterday and guess what? one of her colleagues said i looked like a SEA maid (from the philippines to be exact). i was like wtf. previously this aussie commented that i looked like a viet. TMD...why do i look like everyone else from around spore?? no offence to anybody from anyone else other than spore. i jus wanna look like i come from bloody spore. hmm maybe i'm too tanned. oh well. wine and good company at the acid bar =))) i wanna go back there again!!!
and wat's with the friggin weather? all of a sudden it starts raining. it was so cold in the office. i dun wan no air conn!!!! it kinda reminded me of australia. the only diff was i only had two jackets in the office =(((
hmmm and i must say this. i had this horrible dream. it wasn't a nightmare but just a dream that made me really unsettled upon waking up. in this dream, i was in a camp with a group, as usual. the unusual thing, however, was that the group refused to listen to me. i mean there would be a few chao extras who wouldn't give a two hoots about the group but i really mean the WHOLE group didn't bother about me. when i told them to scream they rolled their eyes and jus continued minding their own business. that's not the disturbin part. the worst thing was, this gal (yes, a primary school girl) expressed her love for me. please don't tell me people dream about what they think about subconsciously during the day. because if that is what really goes on, i prob've to go for therapy. *gulp*
and yeah no offence to any lesbians out there. it's jus quite wrong for a primary school kid to express her love (and i mean love, love...the scary kinda love that gives u the chills) to another lady of the same sex ("lady of the same sex" sounds a little redundant), who is like at least twice her age i might add1 =ppp
okayy...
renzi kissed and swore @
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the itchy and scratchy show!
ulgh...i've rashes again. sighh... wasssuppp man!!!? oh well. if it persists, i'll see the doc after i *DRUM ROLLLLL* go wakeboardin with keith on saturday! WHooo!! it kinda makes me look forward to the weekend even more. speaking of the weekend, i'll be going to sentosa for this jazz thing. i made arrangements with ARRRNIIIEEE baby today so yeah, i'll be a beach bum for the saturday!
speaking of arnie baby, i met her today for dinner. danielle was supposed to meet us but she, like jean, was swarmed with work so anne was left to meet me. =) it was nice to catch up with her. today, was the first time i had ice cream since what close to 1.5 mths ago? =ppp after dinner i went out with karen's colleagues. hahaha we went to acid bar and the duo singing is damn good lah! it was then that karen and i decided to go to mambo next week. hahahhaa we're going to be cheapos and drink all we can in double-o before scooting to zouk to boogie our night away. =)
yeap that sounds like a plan! my plan for now...S-L-E-E-P. i screwed up so much today during work. sighhh...guess i need to wake up my idea tomorrow. bah!
TOMORROW WILL BE A BETTER DAY! (ie ming tian hui gen hao!!!)
~i'm ghost~ (damn it i'm like so random...but do i care??)
oh yeahhh...SOOoooooooo how many men are there in tampines? (scroll down for answer)
10....if you pronounce tampines as ...ermzz..."ten-penis", you'll know why there are 10 men! HAHAHAHA....ahem...i HAVE to say that i didn't come up with this disgusting riddle...it wasn't me! *glares at karen*
renzi kissed and swore @
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Tuesday, March 21, 2006
i'm sick of starin at the computer screen
working in the office
1) you stare at the computer screen for the whole friggin day
2) you don't exercise, you seldom walk around. even so, you just make trips to the toilet. MAYBE, if only you're slightly more urgent, you get the opportunity to run!
3) you feel constrained, ESP when your desk is tiny
4) you tend to snack a LOT more..sigh...
5) you get bored
sighh... i will look for another job soon. well since this is a 3 mth stint and even if they want me to extend my contract, it's so boring that i would rather starve. HAHAHA i say this now only tsk.! hmm i tink i'm talkin rot now. i'm sooo drained. my eyes are feeling so tired. think i should sleep soon. i've a date with my spice girls. hope i dun get DUA-ed. i got friggin DUAed twice...once yesterday, and another today. grrrrr...CHARMS AND MENG if you read thisss...sniffles...i dun feel loved..AT ALL =(((
Anyway i thought of a few people and messaged them. YAY!!! i'm meeting the spices tomorrow. Officially i get let off at 6pm so hopefully i get to go off by 6.30 (no one really goes off at 6 sharp, 
sadly bleaaahh). THEEENNN i'm meetin karen's colleagues to ...erm...supposedly drink. =) they're goin to acid bar...where the hell's that??? =ppp
speaking of colleagues, the company had a bowling tournament last friday and together with a couple of people from the dept, i bowled. ermzz...we could have won IF i did bowl properly in my first game (*$#&@*(& it's a friggin $250 shopping voucher!!! imagine what we could have gotten! even snacks for the dept would suffice! =((( oh well...too late for regrets? =ppp (pic 1: my bigger boss snacking...tsk... i should keep this for blackmail purposes. hahahhaa/ pic2: a couple of us chicks. we helped the dept wipe out the food. hahaha these are mainly the girls working in the dept. from left: charis, me, joanne and nichole/ pic3: the bowling team + and extra (far right, who happens to be our big big boss =ppp)
hmmm yeah speaking of ppl i miss...awww..kee replied my sms...i miss himmmm that cheeky fella replied "har?! 2day ony arh? i've been thinking abt u 4 d last TWO days, u know!" when i said i missed him today. bleah! hmmm i miss trs, cheng...sigh..i wanna go back...!
oh yeah since i'm being so random, as usual, let me quote what a close, a VERY close friend. she (i shall not name karen's name to ensure anonymity) asked "how many men were there in tampines?" hahahhahahaha......how many how many?? =)))
okayy..time to snore...looong day ahead tomorro =ppp
~ i'm ghost!
renzi kissed and swore @
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Monday, March 20, 2006
conversations again...
haven't been doin much for the past couple of days. just to update for the sake of it, i'm still sick. bahhh i went to the doc twice and i still can't recover. and because of my phlegm i can't run. damn it.
after knocking off today, i was walkin to the bus stop when i remembered i needed to top up my farecard. needless to say, i cursed myself. i didn't wanna walk ALLLL the way to the mrt station to top up my farecard so i asked almost everyone in the bus stop whether they had small change for $10. no one had that much change. i was almost tempted to just take a cab. thankfully there was this decent looking man whom i approached. he didn't have change but offered all his "small change" (ie coins). i thanked him profusely, said cheekily "you've done your good deed for the day" before i turned and minded my own business. after what seemed like close to 5 minutes (and in that span of time, i already considered writing about the decent-looking-chap-who-saved-me) he turned and asked me for my msn! HAHAHAHAHHAHA... think he's like younger than me (yes i'm getting old...sigh) but i find that very amusing. well a few coins for a msn contact? i don't care man. hahaha it saved me from walking, with my painful heels, to the nearest station =)
did i also mention my mum? tsk... i was online searchin for the best bank to save money in. she found out what i was doing and almost sniggered. she said "you got THAT much money meh?" sigh...even MY OWN MOTHER, my own flesh and blood (i'm sooo tempted to send her this link now hahaha) can doubt my capability. i mean it's not the money, it's the act and willingness to save. tsk. after ALL these years of preachin to me that saving is good, here she comes laughing at me. tsk. bleah!
okay..anyway think i'd better sleep early. haven't had a good sleep in a while. i dn't wanna almost miss my bus stop again!
dum dee dum...i went to christ methodist last sunday and the bouncy dude said something and i'm trying to bear in mind...MY TOMORROW IS GOING TO BE GREAT!
i'm ghost~
renzi kissed and swore @
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Wednesday, March 15, 2006
ultimate boredom
ha! i almost wanted to put boredness! =ppp
once again, work is boring. argh! someone take me away from this shit!~ hmmm well on a bright side, i got a call from another bank. sigh, i told them my predicament and she was nice enough to tell me she would call around april/may. i'm crossing my fingers on that. it's highly unlikely but i still am hopeful.
anyway nothing much to update. things are picking up but it's still, YES, B-O-R-I-N-G! almost half the time, i've time to doze off or think about camp. hahaha. i just need more work. not too much work tomorrow though, because i wanna go see a doc again.
i guess my bed's my friend for tonight.
~i'm ghost
renzi kissed and swore @
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Tuesday, March 14, 2006
delirious
boreddd...think keith can attest to it. BAHHHHhh.... wat's there to do when you're sick?? i wanted to go mambo tomorrow but i'm still sick - i can't drink. i wanted to run today, well i still want to run today BUT i'm still sick. i wanted to eat something spicy BUT i have diarrhea today! =(((
upset...what can a poor sick gal do after work, when she still has the time???
renzi kissed and swore @
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Monday, March 13, 2006
another short entry
13th of march = first day of work.
apart from the looong durations of time when i didn't have anything to do (which resulted in me dozing off), my constant coughing and wheezing, i guess today went alright.
i even had lunch with silly karen. i must complain- SHE HAS BLOODY 2 HOUR LUNCH BREAKSSSSSS...sniffles..unfairrr...i'm jealous.
on a separate note, thanks guys for the sms and messages of encouragement! really made my day =)
sigh..today i knocked off at about 7pm. my superior said i was sick and i should go home and rest. but tomorrow, i'd prob be knocking off after 9pm+++ ULGH
renzi kissed and swore @
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Sunday, March 12, 2006
very short entry ahead
i'm physically tired, drained and i'm sick.
great...i start work on monday.
renzi kissed and swore @
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Wednesday, March 08, 2006
hehehehe...
today was quite a BORING day. i woke up to karen's voice (as usual because that woman was bored). after lunch at home, i hurled myself out of the house to sign some papers at international plaza (my agent's located in IP).
i then watched TRANSAMERICA in cine before heading to starbucks (my old workplace) to chill because i had an hour to spare (i was supposed to meet charms for dinner). TRANSAMERICA is a very good show. and i'm extremely impressed with felicity huffman (hopefully i got her name right). she's just so versatile. i'm in love with her. she should have won the oscars instead of weetherspoon because in my opinion, the former performed so much better. she really portrayed the character of Bree and displayed a wide range of emotions. =)
anyway i so happened to meet bak! =))) i haven't seen him in ages! it was quite a good time catchin up with him. he never fails to make me laugh. he's witty, smart and he's getting married! mannn..another one of my friends getting married. i hope to catch up with him again, when he's still single. =ppp because once he's buckled himself with the chains of marriage, there's nnooooo turning back! hmm..
time to go...i popped a pill, and i need to sleep. i've got to wake up at 5+am to head to kranji ulghh... 2 more camps and i'll be richer! go renee go! ENDURE THE KIDS!!!
renzi kissed and swore @
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Tuesday, March 07, 2006
my conversations with my friends
i'll keep HER identity anonymous to protect her name but let's just call her KAREN shall we *wink*
renzi: heyyy did u watch the tammy video?
karen: huh? what video???
R: you know...the tammy video, the nyp gal? (disregarding her oblivion) wow...did u see the guy's dick??
K: huh?? tammy?
R: yeah...nyp???
K: YOU MEAN SHE HAS A DICK???
R: ....
renzi kissed and swore @
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Monday, March 06, 2006
falling sick..noOOoo
i stayed at home pretty much the whole day. slept the whole day i think. mann i'm still feeling sick. i'll probably pop a few pills before i go to bed, hopefully i wake up fresh and dandy tomorrow. karen said i shouldn't go for the camps this week but if i don't do this now, i don't know when i'll do the camps already. and if i don't do camps, i'll probably spend money so it's a win-win situation.
speaking of spend money. i spent SOO much today. bought a few birthday cards, kenneth's birthday present, dinner, and some other items. sigh. i'm officially broke. B-R-O-K-E. guess i've to get some money from my savings to tide me till my first pay day.
anyway i was talking to aik ming today (i went out with him for dinner) and we happened to talk about the blown-out-of-proportion tammy incident. i told him i watched the 10 minute video and it was boring. i'm not saying that i can whip up something better for the whole of the singaporean population to watch but hmmm it was boring. i think, and i say I THINK (i don't wattch porn) porn would be more interesting don't you think? I have to mention, though, or even exclaim that, that boy's dick is HUGE! even meng agreed! my gosh! what did his parents feed him when he was young??
okok enough of swooning (even swooning sounds wrong). we then talked about brokeback mountain (which was quite a good show, catch it if u can). i asked him whether he would EVER (if he were feeling a little desperate) ask a guy, or trans to give him, you know, a job. he immediately said no. but my argument was that wouldn't guys know what guys want? it's just the same as gals getting together with girls and girls doing things with girls because they are of the same species and they know what girls want? hmmm...
i dunno...just something that i thought of. okay...anyway one more day till my camps. i'm tired. glad i'm meeting charms for dinner and maybe alvin for lunch. i'll probably go catch a movie myself. i've so much i wanna watch.
~~~ i'm ghost!
renzi kissed and swore @
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Saturday, March 04, 2006
lazy saturday afternoon
it's really scorching hot in sunny singapore and i'm suffering from it. i'm sleepy and feeling uncomfortably lazy. to make matters worse, i'm bored.
well karen's comin over to run. don't think i'll join her. it's so hot n runnin under the hot sun like that will make me B-L-A-C-K. i'm already malay, i don't want to turn into an indian gal.
yawn. guess i'll take a short nap before she comes. sigh. i still can't find anyone to wakeboard with me. sigh.
renzi kissed and swore @
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Friday, March 03, 2006
falling sick
i'm at charms' place and i'm super nua. i think it's her room =ppp i like her room very much. it reminds me so much of her room back in melbourne.
anyway i just finished my 5th camp. i'm tired, really beat. think i'll share a cab with her and take the taxi all the way to my place. i'm not feeling too well. i think sleepin in the air con room for 2 days has taken a toll. i really cannot take sleeping in air-conditioned rooms. my nose starts getting itchy, my eyes swell up and i start sneezing uncontrollably in the morning.
hmm... i hope i don't fall sick. okay.. note to self: must drink loads of water when i get back becausse....
1) i've another two camps next week.
2) i found a job and i'm starting soon! WHEEEEeeeeee!!!
I can already envision myself wakeboarding a lot more often in the future! =))) speaking of wakeboarding, any one intersted in wakeboarding on monday? I'm free and this is my ony free time. i want to wakeboard for the last time before i start work! =ppp
okay time to go. think charms is ready to get out fo teh house =)))
i'm ghost!