Tuesday, June 28, 2005
the day when she felt better
think the weather depicted my mood so well today.
in the morning, it was foggy, gloomy and lazy. i was feeling like crap. after going out, running errands, and preparing to cook, (towards the end of the day) it was all clear-skied and bright. it was still cold but well it was better than overcast skies. =)
i decided to do something. i dun really care about the consequences already. hahaha i dun really care. this time round my heart's ruling, not my friggin head (which is always my bad or good habit).
and wat made my day was the egg yolks. i'll post up the pics tomorrow. it's was a scary moment which was shared among cheng, kee and i. ulgh *shudder*
dum dee dum... time to sleep. i'm jus glad this day's over. i've gotta work tomorrow so......WHEE... i'm off to bed...
another thing tat made my day was...i downloaded LOADS of soundtracks from POT. hahaha =)
renzi kissed and swore @
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the day when she felt emotionally unstable
sniffles...even though i've reversed a decision, i still feel like shit. fuck man. someone run me over!
i'm sorry...
sorry ken-boy...
renzi kissed and swore @
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Monday, June 27, 2005
the day when she wanted to sleep early
this is so unlike me but i'm going to bed now.
horrible day... i jus need to sleep it off, sleep it off...
renzi kissed and swore @
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the day when she couldn't get to bed
after a phonecall with ken-boy, i tossed and turned for quite a bit but i still can't get to bed. mann... this is bad. i can't sleep =((( wow, my first time in a long while. darnn...
hmmm i sped-read a couple of blogs, checked my mail, sent some mail and i'm still not tired. maybe i should jus lie down. i keep thinking about the past... reminising more like.
i miss...
the jc days...
i remember the year one days where we used to get hell from the teachers. that very day when our form teacher called us "little shits" (ironic tat she was the smallest among all of the growing kids).
i remember the year two days of orientation, zao-ing classes and 'studying' in school with the dudes. the catching in the dark, the climbin of the roof to catch a glimpse of the spread of stars.
i miss...jon teo the "ah-pa", xh the canoist, andrew the clown, paul the cynical bitch, gao the bitch no2, derrick the go-to-the-washroom-after-every-class RI kid, mr rama rama, ms too-sarcastic-for-her-own-good-but-i-still-dig-her chng, the sailors, dom, we-go-a-long-way meng meng...
the secondary school days...
i remember in sec 1 where i was the cause of detention for a couple of the guys because they were plucking my bra strap. not forgetting the class camp and horrible band practice. i was the rebel in band. wanted to quit but forced myself not to to spite mum.
in sec2, i was the insistent class rep who forced the poor classmates to clean up the class, i also remember being picked at by the chinese teacher for 'staring longingly' at a friend (gosh), i recall learning wushu for a teachers' day performance. who could forget the form teacher's horrendous pronounciation of "two". Maurice (****shudder***); tay kong wei (hahaha my all time crush)
sec 3 was enjoyable with the sec 3 camp. i won a guy in a drinking competition, i cried, we won the best performance of the camp. i remember the teacher's day perfromance and recieved a rousing response from both the cohort AND the most enjoyable time in band because i was the leader of the pack, influencing the shit out of everyone.
best year of my life i reckon..hahaha...sec 4....my ups and downs...my first break-up of my life, dennis the dick, my best friends forsaking me (for quite some time), bowling with the ken-boy, jeff, etc...; another great performance for teacher's day (as u can see i'm quite a teacher's pet), recieving the 'best student' award (HAHAH yesh i bribed my principal).
i miss the sentosa band buddies (we really went through thick and thin i tell you), the 3-8 gang (consisting of the bitchy gals of my class), the guy whom i was close to (derrick, mingben, raymond, max, alvin, chee keong), mrs chng, mrs lo, mrs lee fang lan...
hmmm...dun really miss my primary school days though. i was super guai and didn't like interacting with anyone. had my first back-stabbing experience in a bloody convant. oh well...some gals can be bitches. tats why i dun really have many friends from that friggin school. no big lost anyway =)
dum dee dum...tink i wrote quite a bit...sigh, i miss schooling days (i dun really count uni as school though) anyway i miss so many people. sigh...wait for me peeps...wait for me...
renzi kissed and swore @
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the day when she was sorry
dear peeps whom i'm going to fong fei gei,
i'm sorry for what i'm going to do. really. you don't know how much...
sigh...so so sorry....
renzi kissed and swore @
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Sunday, June 26, 2005
the day when she stuffed her face
i'm SOOO glad i did push my arse out of the house to run.
haha that's because i ate so much again (yeah wat's new eh?)
well...nothing much has been happening other than...lets see...
1) dinner at terrence's place (his mum cooked. yummmss) on friday. prior to that, i had a pretty good time at my workplace (almost seemed too good to be true, seemed as though as it was running smoothly. yes i'm a cynical bitch at heart)
2) my sinful buys at this loreal warehouse sale. hahha i FINALLY bought the fragrance that i've always wanted. yes...it's a miracle! HAHAHA...
3) yesterday (and tat was a saturday), i went out with my aunt and it was the first time we had quite a good chat over lunch =)
i asked her how/wat my mum would react should i pop the question about moving out (sigh she said my mum would prob be insulted...i only could come up with an ingenius plan, to my aunt's horror, of finding a husband and getting the hell outta my house...any takers???) and i subtly forced her into agreeing with me that i'm very guai heheh (and to set the record straight...I AM VERY GUAI!!! sigh...no one seems to believe me. damn it)
4) today (sunday), i had a nice steamboat dinner with a couple of peeps. for a freezing cold winter day, it jus warmed the soul =) before that i went for (my second lunch) with viv and terrence. they ignored me for a while because i briefly mentioned that i was guai. SIGHHHH DOESN"T ANYONE BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY THAT??? sniffles. i feel maligned. sniffles. anyway i came back to help but everything was already cut and prepared. so i helped myself to my first dinner before i went to watch....eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. i didn't mind the show but it was pretty draggy. =ppp
yeah..nothing much else to say... actually i do wanna say something but...hahha i'll do it in my next entry i guess... for some reason i'm mentally drained. tired....
somehow i kinda regret agreeing to go back. finance-wise, i'm pretty tight. i don't miss the food, like many do. and i dun really wanna go back to the room, my supposed room back in spore. i hate it. bahh i was jus lamenting to my aunt about it. hmm it's setttled, i'll aim to look for a husband (hopefully rich, handsome, even old HAHAHA), marry off myself and live happily ever after HA! like it'll happen eh? okok.
short-term goals (after i graduate) :
1) look for a job that pays well, that excludes prostitution, selling my soul and being a serogate mother.
2) look for a husband. a husband who doesn't need batteries to work (tat will save me money), doesn't need my love (tat will save me from being emotionally drained) and let's see... listen to my beck and call ....HAHHA SOUNDS LIKE A DOG HAHAHAH!
3) if i can't accomplish goal 2, i need to look for a house/room to rent.
there.... i'm done for today. tired. time to turn in since i can't talk to ken-boy.
renzi kissed and swore @
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Friday, June 24, 2005
the day when she was amused
hahaha check out this website
there is actually a PR website for animalS!!!
renzi kissed and swore @
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Thursday, June 23, 2005
the day when she made a friend
hmm very tired. i tink i've been staring too much at computer screens. bah
anyway work was alright i guess. i feel like complaining but i'm physically too tired to do that. can't remember much of today. i only could recall going for dinner with cheng, raymond (i hope i got his name right), su, trs, viv and rachel at pacific house. initially we were supposed to have dinner at the steak house diagonally opposite the south yarra train station but we didn't make any reservations so oh well. susu's friend say we didn't need to. *shrug*
hmmm had quite a bit of food =) there was too much msg though. i would know because my body tends to react quickly after i eat anything that has too much msg. gah. my face tightened, i had a headache and i felt weak during the dinner. hehe...
yeap yeap...oh yeah...and as the title suggests, i made a friend today. i was waiting for the bus to go to huntingdale when this bloke struck a conversation with me. (hahah! so much for parents constantly telling us not to talk to strangers***) we chatted from when we were at the bus loop till i alighted at richmond =) interesting fella from adelaide. he invited me over to his place to drop by and say hi anytime. but i can't remember his address!! =S
well it was nice to meet you nonetheless, richard!
time to head off...i need my sleep. =)
***just an end note: er...have u ever wondered why strangers are called strangers? i mean even though the root word for this term's "strange", some strangers are not strange, they are jus some people whom you may not know, and may potentially know in the future. do i make sense there? hahahha this word strange is so subjective. zzz
renzi kissed and swore @
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Wednesday, June 22, 2005
the day when she was not amused
hmm... time seems to whizz by somehow. whether u're busy or not, it does not creep up, it dashes past ya. sigh...
i'm getting old mannnn....
(why am i saying such things eh?)
oh well *shrug* i've been watching lotsa prince of tennis (AGAIN, yes again), and movies. =) i'm quite excited. i've got quite a bit to do... well to watch tat is. since i'm quite certain i can't get any earlier flights back, (although ken boy was nice enough to call SQ yesterday to put me on waitin list for all the flights this week *beems*) i thought i might as well coop myself in my room and watch anime, movies, and tv serials. how anti-social. tsk ...
anyway let's see. since sunday, all i did was watch stuff, go to work at my usual workplace (sunday) and drink. on monday i went to the yarra valley for the first time. ter, his mum n i sampled quite a bit of wine. i couldn't find any wine which lured me into making any purchse. oh well..tat's good (sniff i'm still broke...)
then at night a couple of us went to mag/daryl's place to drink. hehe surprisingly i did quite enjoy myself. =) and daryl/mag's friends were a nice, humble buncha guys. i hope to see them again i guess. the only thing that made me peeved tat day (i seldom get angry btw) was the prank that some pulled. i wasn't amused at all because of the fact that they toyed with both cheng's and my feelings by tricking us into thinkin that someone was actually abducted. seriously. it wasn't funny at all. i ALMOST wanted to take action (like dial "000"). oh well.... it was a case of the boy crying wolf.
i rest my case for that. but to all out there. never cry wolf like that. =)
time to turn in. i need to wake up to go to work. sniff. tsk tsk...oh well...i'll live.
night night!
renzi kissed and swore @
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Monday, June 20, 2005
the day when she finished the book
hahah i'm done with where rainbows end
it was a painful journey of emotions, thoughts and heartache. =((( i teared at some parts because it was so heartbreaking to see how one could actually fail to seize the moment and miss out on opportunities.
it's so true that once you close a particular door, it would be so hard to go back. it kinda makes me think harder on certain pressing issues at the moment. sigh
oh well...time to call ken boy i guess. he's online. i'll see what he's up to now...
renzi kissed and swore @
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Sunday, June 19, 2005
the day when she had a seemingly long day
i'm not too sure whether i'm jus not used to the fact that i've no worries, nothing to do... BAH! (maybe the phrase "no worries" depicts the wrong picture here oh well..can't be bothered to rephrase it)
anyway... i've got quite a bit on my mind. sighhh... first it was the horrid dream that i had about ken-boy. then... my aunt talked to me about something which made me think. argh the dilemmas of renee yang shiqi!
hmm wat did i do today? jus woke up late (even though i had difficulty going back to sleep after i woke up at 10am. i'm so not used to sleeping in. it was my first day, prob in this whole year...haha), ran, had a quick lunch, read a little before i went to work. yeah..the boring life of renee yang. i really wanna go back to sunny singapore man.
yesterday was more fruitful i suppose. went to the great ocean road for the first time. YES after 2.5 years as a student, i FINALLY decided to take a 3-hour ride to the GOR. terrence and myself took turns to drive. hmm nothing much else to say i guess. i'm tired and i need a rest. bah. God was nice to us yesterday and granted us good weather. =) hahaha even the clouds looked inviting. took this outside daddy terry's house before i hopped into the car.
i decided to do my bid and take some tourisy shots
photos taken with the peeps i went with.
i like this shot for some reason. =) i think it's because trs turned over and gave a nice decent, but cheeky smile =)
hahaha this sign's cute...check out the stick-man falling off the click. hilarious! =)
(for more photos, click here..)
good night world
renzi kissed and swore @
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the day when she liked this paragraph
i quote from this book where rainbows end,
"Our life is made up of time. Our days are measured in hours, our pay measured by those hours, our knowledge is measured by years. We grab a quick few minutes in out busy days to have a coffee break. We rush back to our desks, we watch the clock, we live by appointments. And yet time eventually runs out and you wonder in your heart of hearts if those seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years and decades were being spent the best way they possibly could"
how true it is...
renzi kissed and swore @
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Friday, June 17, 2005
the day when she took time to recall
mann..i can't remember what i did for the whole of this week. let's see....
today... i went to work at rapp. met bryan after work, walked around in chaddy before rushing back for cell.
yesterday (16th)... went to check out where my workplace is. vivik accompanied me to richmond. we had a supposed long walk before we found the place. i was so glad i brought my melway because...we were lost for a while. i was even more glad that vivik was with me because i'm pretty hopeless with maps. =p we had a nice lunch at this pizza palour before we headed off back to clayton where we walked home (well most of the way, before jr picked us up. sooo sweett). i stayed at home for the rest of the day. will be doing that quite a bit this week because i'm VERY broke. i have to wait till the 23rd before i can pluck up enough guts to ask mum for money. (speaking of money...i'm not paid for the work experience!!!! sniffles)
wed (15th)... my last day of exams. can't really remember what happened. tink i went to tighten my braces after my exams, AND lunch with trs, his mum and vivik. met janelle and the guys again for dinner. yummmyyy.... we then headed off to have dessert at doncaster. =)
tues (14th)... the only thing i could remember was cheng's surprise. =) tink i was trying my best to study but failed miserably.
mon (13th)... tat day was worse. i didn't even study properly. man! i'll laugh if i get at least a D for this subject. i'll kiss the floor for anyone to see!!!
sun (12th)... damian's baptism. didn't take a proper photo with damian BUT i did take some photos of my other nephews =) they're jus sooo adorable!!! (notice i didn't mention the word cute hahah) i noe this shot is blur but it's the best shot i've got for thomas. mannn you should see him in real life....my heart will melt if he begs me for anything i tell you. =ppp
yeap...alex... =) he couldn't recognise me from a few years back when he came down to spore with his parents. hahahha.... i remember he was SOOOOO whiney. oh well...he's all grown up now.
terrence accompanied me to the baptism. after the baptism, we decided to have dinner first before heading back home. =) we went to romanza. yummmm...we had a starter, main and dessert. my dessert was HUGE.
oops forgot to upload the photo of the dessert...anyway here's a shot of me back at home =) hahahha yeshhhh i'm ready to get into the workforce..to contribute to humankind, the good of society!! =ppp yeah right.
anyway more photos of sunday --> here...
okkkkk..time to go...i need to talk to ken...and sleep early actually. i'm going to the great ocean road with viv, ter and his mum....FOR THE FIRST TIME!!! =)
good night workd!
renzi kissed and swore @
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the day when she went to work EARLY
yeappp..i was close at least half an hour early. hmmm... =)
anyway first day of work, first lunch break....mannn
sighh...and i jus found out that...i wun get paid for this "work experience" sniffles...it makes me wanna go home so much more. maybe i should call SQ soon eh. shit i dunno how to use the phone yet, waitt...(rephraseD) i dunno how to make an external phonecall.ARGH
well...at least there's like 3 more hours to go..before i go home for a nice home-cooked meal. yumz...
renzi kissed and swore @
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Thursday, June 16, 2005
the day when she surprised cheng with a couple of peeps, jus before the comm paper Date: 14th June 2004 Mission: To surprise Yicheng before the clock struck 12am. People invited: PLENTY...check out the photos (using the link) Verdict: Mission accomplished! (for more photos...click on the link)
happy birthday gal...welcome to my world, the world where we start worrying about the wrinkles on our foreheads, clothes and our future husbands *wink* need i say more?
renzi kissed and swore @
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the day when she was told she looked like...
snifff.... i was talking to adrian online when he told me his friend saw me on friendster and commented that i looked like a "female nerd".
mixed reactions here. someone please explain tat to me.
my first reaction was like...erm...of course i'm female. man! do i really look like a man....*insecurities flooding in* snifff...other than my physical attributes and the last i checked, i remember quite distinctively i still had pretty normal female genitalia
snifff....second reaction was "why nerdddddd???" hahhaa mann...i not only look guai i also look like a nerd.
it made me wonder what sort of first impressions i imprinted in people's minds. wait IF i even left any impression to anywan. tsk tsk...
female nerd????
renzi kissed and swore @
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Wednesday, June 15, 2005
THE day
hmmm i finally woke up after 1 hour of snoozing. bahhh... oh well i need to revise the crap that i tried to remember yesterday. someone pls remind me why i'm doing this shit. communications... *mumble mumble*
anyway i was feeling hungry so i poured milk into a glass, added my 85% cocoa dark chocolate and shoved it into the microwave. i was happily eating a kiwi when the microwave rang, indicating that the milk was heated up. hahaha when i opened the oven, i found the milk swimming in the tray instead of my cup =((( could this be a sign?? hahahhaa nahhh i'm jus dumb....or as what the stupid chinese character in that test that i did "you are dumb, you are LOSA" damn it!
hahaha oh well..i can't wait to get this over and done with. i've got a programme lined up for myself today already.
1) take off my bottom braces. WHOO!!
2) run
3) do two batches of long-overdued laundry.
4) dinner with a coupla them. (*note to self: call christie)
5) i forgot..NO MORE STUDYING!!! WHEEE!!
okok..time to go.....will try to make the best out of my studying and ....second batch of hot cocoa. (*$#&@(*&$#@
renzi kissed and swore @
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Tuesday, June 14, 2005
the day when she plotted
i want to burn some of my books! man i know i have no right to complain about exams since i have only what, 3 exams? but i hate exams nonetheless. never liked them, and never will. stupid system. whoever came up with the notion of 'testing' one's depth of knowledge of particular subjects ought to be shot....!!!
well as i was saying before i deviated, i want to burn my books. i have never burnt any of my books. i always thought it was a waste to do so. BUT before i graduate from monash, and before i become officially unemployed, i want to.
yes, i want to experience the intense satisfaction of watching the book(s) turn crinkle and burn slowly till everything's but ashes. hmmm i will do that. *mental note* yeap that will be a symbollic act which closes another chapter of my life.
i will do that. i will invite a group of people to witness this sacred act.
renzi kissed and swore @
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the day when she had more or less 24 hours to her exams
my last exam....tomorrow's my last paper. i jus wanna get this paper over and done with. i'm kinda feeling burnt out. or maybe i'm giving myself excuses. however i feel that i've been pretty consistent throughout the sem so....oh well.......bahhhhh
hmm enjoying my cuppa dark chocolate drink. after breakkie, i'll probably get crackin. i must start studyin for my exams. no days of our lives or.....sleeping. okok...renee! you can do it!
waittt...i need to decide whether to go back first. argh! i hate making decisions like tat. okok...i'll go flip a coin. HAHAHAH...time to go!
renzi kissed and swore @
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Monday, June 13, 2005
the day when she has to decide AGAIN
my mum has this ability to make me decide...whether i should come back. i told her to decide for me, whether to should go back to singapore. well when we actually talked on the phone, she told me i've to pay for my own ticket if i do wanna go back.
nowwwww...i've to really think hard. the pros and the cons. does the 700++ suffice? i mean i'm firstly thinking, whether i have enough cash to pay up the ticket. then...sigh.........decisions, decisions, BAHHHH she has to let me decide! couldn't she just have said no? hahaha
well...let's see. if i do go back, with my own money, i'll DEFINITELY not stay at home. i'm not obliged already. call me evil but i dun like to stay at home.
i'm plotting but...
let's see...i'll prob sleep on it.
to go back or not to..that is the question
renzi kissed and swore @
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the day when she had a 'conversation' with her mum
oops. mum called yesterday but i wasn't at home. i went for damian's baptism and had a relaxing dinner with daddy terry.
anyway i had, well still am having this exchange of words with my mum. why the use of the phrase "exchange of words"? well we're communicating through the email. the wonders of the internet. not wait...not internet. world wide web. (thanks to studying for my stupid paper for wed...i noe the diff between the internet and the www)
hmmm after an hour of emailing her, i gave mum the ultimatum (sheeet i need microsoft word to change/check my horrid spelling)- i gave her the choice to let her decide whether i should go back for the two weeks. it's all up to her. i dun wanna tink about it. i'm lazy and i need to study (not to mention run, stone, mourne, sleep...hmmm filial daughter i must say)
well....i'll see wat she says when i check my mail later. sigh...
time to study....(well after these few songs first)
renzi kissed and swore @
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the day when she learnt about him
i can't believe i teared. then again, i can't believe you have passed on.
you were young. you had so much potential. you had so much ahead of you. there were many opportunities waiting for you. i'm sorry. and i'm sad. you had to leave your friends and family in this world.
my dear boy...if i do make it to heaven, i'll see you there.
you will be sorely missed by many.
will be praying for your family and closer friends.
renzi kissed and swore @
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Sunday, June 12, 2005
the day when she realised it's gonna be a long day
i had this wierd dream yesterday. i can't remember much of it but it was in a war. I distinctively remember some of my secondary school prefects (whom i was close to like, ben-ben n weijie) frantically trying to get me out of trouble. there were queues of people waiting to be executed and somehow i only found out when i was running through the groups. the prefects instigated me to go through some wierd tunnels where the guards/enemies were only interested in chasing some prominant characters. i saw this guard trying to chase junbao, one of the more notorious characters in GM (i still remember slapping him quite a bit because he kept teasing me for some reason). hmmmm...
then i found myself with karen. it was still during the war but she was preparing for either her wedding, or someone else's wedding. (she looked as good as ever). we kept trying to run away from the Enemy and we ran till we were in the tunnel again. we raced up a flight a steps and knew that the soldiers were rummaging through each room/classroom. we hid in a corner till we made sure the coast was clear. we found another gal who gave us food to eat.
and yeah..that was about it for the dream. tat was wat i could recall. hahahahha man! anyway i'm going to take a quick shower, and get my arse to work. after work i've got to rush back, shower again and go for damian's baptism =)
long day ahead. and i'ms leepy already. tink i need to eat tat vitamin again....and charge towards the day.
yawn..
renzi kissed and swore @
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Saturday, June 11, 2005
the day when she felt hungry again
hahaha AND NO I'M NOT PREGNANT. haha and i dun tink i eat too much. dun tink two people will believe that claim. the two meaning viv and terrence. =)
anyway as i was enjoying one of those in-the-toilet moments, i recalled this week, ran through and reflected about the week. in that quick less-than-one-minute moment of peeing, i thought of a few people who made my week. a quick shout out to them (although i dun tink some read my blog):
1) christie, for sticking her head out (well not literally, she can't do that because of the structure of the house) TWICE on separate occasions to wish me good luck. that really brightened my day and made alleviated me from a littttttle bit of stress.
2) raymond, for msging me on my singapore line to ask whether i wanted KFC (because at that point in time i was craving for it). i called him back and he offered to drive to my place to pass me some pieces of chicken. AWWW...so sweeeettt
3) terrence, mannn i've gotta thank him for an awfully lot of things. firstly for delivering a slightly melted sundae (choco+strawberry) to my place because i was feeling depressed. secondly, for the drives around in general lately. thirdly, for the vitamin pills. fourthly...for bearing with my shit.
4) viv...hahaha for bearing with my shit as well, my quiet moments (which is quite rare, for some reason) and for well....letting me sit in ur spanky new car =) ay ay!! i wanna drive ur car though!!!
5) kee...for accomodating with me again. =) and wishin me 'luck'
6) jon leong...for listenin to my laments~
7) cheng: for cooking.... =) heheh and brightening my day with ur hilarious theories of life. remember the pussy. HAHAHAHA
8) susu: for washing up (sorry been quite naughty) and for jus sitting with me whilst preparing for ur examination.
9) peeps who emailed me...karen, gabs, sherwin, alvin...love u guys lots...
10) janelle: hahahha for telling me she can't make it for tassie. =) u opened another alternative for me, an oppotunity for me to go home. i'm not too sure whether i can go back but hey a glimmer of hope is better than pitch darkness =)
11) ahhh...... hehhehehe *DRUM ROLL* another deserving person, although i dun tink he reads my blog anymore...kenneth joel elias! thanks for making my day almost everyday by calling, emailing me =) hehehe....hehehe...i hope i can come back to see u...heh
yeap yeap..time to go...i wanna go sleep....will wanna talk to ken-boy first. heh hehehe...in a superb mood. haven't been this happy for the longest time... =) i'm looking forward to monday...mondayyyyy...MONDAY!!!! i've less than 48 hours before i can call SQ...hmm and wait for mother's email of approval *crosses fingers*
i hope i can go back. i dun mind forfeiting the ski trip and the deposit =)
wheeee
renzi kissed and swore @
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the day when she ran and came across this song
If you gave me just a coin for every time we say goodbye
Well I'd be rich beyond my dreams,
I'm sorry for my weary life
I know I'm not perfect but I can smile
and I hope that you see this heart behind my tired eyes
If you tell me that I can't, I will, I will, I'll try all night
and if I say I'm coming home, I'll probably be out all night
I know I can be afraid but I'm alive
and I hope that you can trust this heart behing my tired eyes
I'm no angel, but please don't think that I won't try
I'm no angel, but does that mean that I can't live my life
I'm no angel, but please don't think that I can't cry
I'm no angel, but does that mean that I won't fly
I know I'm not around each night
and I know I always think I'm right
I can believe that you might look around
I'm no angel, but please don't think that I won't try
I'm no angel, but does that mean that I can't live my life
I'm no angel, but please don't think that I can't cry
I'm no angel, but does that mean that I won't fly
renzi kissed and swore @
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Friday, June 10, 2005
the day when she wonders whether there's such a saying as..."what goes around comes around"
be it karma, or retribution or...HAHAHA what the chinese would call bao ying i guess it could work in some supernatural or practical way (that's one possibility or way of thinking it).
i would definitely not say tat i oppose to this phrase, but neither do i want to strongly advocate this saying because i believe in second chances. some may argue that second chances are for wimps, or losers but hey! i believe that in some point of your life, you would come across at least A situation that would prompt you do commit a 'crime', offence or just a blunder. like for myself, without second chance, or even third chances (man! i shudder to even say this) i wouldn't be who i am today, or where i am today.
well...once again i have no idea why this phrase came to mind. it could be because of some entries that i've read lately, AND my idle (ironic, bearing in mind that it's the exam period) mind which kept prompting me to brood and think about things, the past.
before i go...i'm sorry guys... whoever's reading for hurting you in any way, for disappointing you, for 'flying kite's sometimes, for giving empty promises. one of my resolutions is to try to keep to my word and i'm struggling with it, will continue to struggle with it but bear with me. =) i'm learning every single day. so just bear with me. slap me if need be =) heheh
time to go...i wanna go home. it seems alittle gloomy. i wanna go home bfore it rains, and preferably run (if i'm not to giddy and drowsy)
second chances? karma? God's zap of wrath?? what do you guys tink??
renzi kissed and swore @
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the day when the ringing didn't stop
bahhh...darn it! i've been getting this irritating ring in my ear. argh! went to consult a doctor today and he speculated (yes i wrote right, speculated/guessed) that it could be a viral infection. why me againnnnnn?? i've an exam soon again and i can't afford to have ringing sounds in my ear. i like the peace and queit when i study. popped a pill and i'll see whether this works. =p
in the library at the moment and trying to stream and listen to class ninety five. hahaha i miss the DJs, and the good mix of up-to-date music and oldies. hmmm makes me wanna go home even more. *sigh*
hahah spoke to alvina briefly over the net and yes gal, if you're reading this, i'm not going back =( hahaha we'll see each other at the end of the year. AND i wil definitely wanna see the 3 of u (YOU GUYS KNOW WHO U ARE....)
hmm time to try to get some studying done..wish me luck...
the best mix of music, CLASS 95 FM!
renzi kissed and swore @
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Wednesday, June 08, 2005
the day when i was going to die
arggghhh..... the water had to be cold when i started to wet my hair. was practically bathing in cold water. sniffles. it's only 5am!!! GAH!!!! now i'm having a headache and i've an exam in 4 hours time. HELP!!!!
fuck fuck fuck...
God Help meeeee...
renzi kissed and swore @
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Tuesday, June 07, 2005
the day when i was and am still scared shitless
ulghhh... damn! tomorrow's my most dreaded paper, sociology of working life. seriously i dun give a shit about how fordism occured and how, why it developed to post-fordism. i just wanna get this over and done with. mannn!
anyway after tomorrow's paper, i'll be a free woman! not to say that i've no more exams but i definitely would be able to get a decent grade/mark for the following exam paper (which is communications).
time to go...before that...i realised i have this in my collection of collages. 
i miss these kids. hahah all of us are scattered around. karen's in NZ, sherwin's in tassie, jon's in sydney and winnie's stuck in singapore. well not stuck, coming from me, a gal who badly wants to go back HAHAH...oh well...
anyway we took this when we went clubbing. we hopped from this dusty, loud dingy karaoke lounge to coco latte =) mind you we weren't pissed. none of us were. we were prob jus being ourselves..haha...
sigh...i miss home. not home home, but singapore home. argh! i wanna go homeeee...sniffles
bear with it renzi bear with it!
time to rest and wake up in the morning to finish up the shit on industrialism, post-industrialism, deindustrialism. damn those theorists!!!
renzi kissed and swore @
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the day when i need to be reprimanded
Renee Yang Shiqi, you need to get a tight slap for being so selfish!
You need to be kicked, slapped and burnt to death!!!
Concentrate on the task at hand and STOP BROODING!!!
fuck you, renee!
renzi kissed and swore @
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Monday, June 06, 2005
the day when i felt more tired after the rest
today was the first day of exams. marketing was DA paper. =p man, i've never written so much in 2 hours for a loong time. i had to raise my hand for another booklet AND i wanted to raise my hand for another booklet buttttt...i ran out of time *(#&*(@&$
so much to write, so little time. oh well it's over already.
anyway took a rest after my feast with kee-kee. i heated up the nonya dumplings my aunt made, the beef stew she made, a can of curry AND cooked a pack of indomee. was stuffed after that (although i wanted more oh well) i slept for about close to 2.5 hours but i felt more tired after i woke up. i could be because of the dream. i was telling terrence about the dream. to lazy to rephrase it so here's a cut and paste portion of the dream (i forgot wat happened before and after this part)
i was in a car with a group of friends (can't remember who they are).... and we were chased by this very slow tank. somehow while being chased, the mastermind of the chase kept planting obstacles like chickens crossing the street, a granny walking alone the street to slow us down =ppp
sigh...woke up thinking of ken-boy for some reason. coincidentally he was online but he refused to talk to me =( stupid exams...stupid sociology. seriously who gives a toss about sociology when you can't secure a job with the subject. stupid sociology...stupid sociology...stupid sociology. NOOOOO...wait...stupid arts degree, stupid arts degree, stupid arts degree.
i've wasted, or i would have wasted at least a 100grand after i graduate because of a crappy piece of cert. didn't think the money substantiated my stay here (in terms of my education). oh well...
time to go...try to get some sociology done. #*(O*#*#*$*_)#
renzi kissed and swore @
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Sunday, June 05, 2005
the day when i rendered myself useless
hahaha not in a bad way though... well i didn't study at all. not too sure whether i should be proud of that. i'm not sayin that i'm done with studying but somehow i needed a break as well. =)
i jus woke up from me nap and i'm having my light dinner now (my cup corn tasted like peasssss..ulgh). hope i dun puke later. lately i've been feeling nausea. ulgh....
anyway i'm going to start studying at 9.30. my body's itchin and raring to go to stay up for the night! (i tink my 2 hour nap rested me enough)
wish me luck guys!
i need a HD to get a D for this darn subject...ARGH!
wheeeeee....delirious, signing off~
renzi kissed and swore @
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the day when i studied, slept, stoned
hmm.. i'm not tired. i'm still not tired! wow. really, exams does wonders to you. it makes u stressed, it makes u eat, it makes you stay up.
well the exams are starting. my first ppr's on monday. ulgh. marketing! ulgh stupid VEM, VPM, segmentation, targeting, research methods,...BAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....
oh well...not like i can do anything to stop it, maybeeeee.....if i burn down the caufield race course, there would be a likelihood that...oh well...ookkk..i shall stop spouting nonsense.
i've to say this...my toe hurts. sniffles. i was rummaging through my store when a can of evaporated milk plummeted on my toe. think the impact was quite significant because yicheng heard me from her room! hahah or maybe she heard me let out a squeal. in an case, it hurts. sniff. stupid milk. stupid storeroom, stupid mess! ulgh
things to do after my exam:
- clear the mess in the storeroom
- clean the house
- fold the plastic bags nicely (tat drawer which stores all the plastic bags is horrendously in dire need of a nice pack)
- run properly again
- work...
- watch my anime...
can't tink of anything else...ulgh..the bed beckons but i'll study some more before i give myself a break for the day. sunday's reest dayyy (was challenged by a friend to keep the sabbath holy...will try...will really tryyyyyy)
time to go, i need to study, rest and go to church tomorro. =)
i'm ghost!
renzi kissed and swore @
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Saturday, June 04, 2005
the day when i realised...
hahaha..i jus realised it's actually the 4th of june! my handphone reminded me of a few people's birthdays. it's not only christie's birthday but dom and victor (aka leng zai) turn 22 today! =) wow amazing. hahaha i was having my quick breakkie when i realised that. hahah i messaged victor yesterday and i'm going to msg dom (*mental note)
anyway i couldn't wake up at 8, instead for some reason my mind switched off till 9am, when i woke up without any help. gah! i hope i don't oversleep for the exams! (*another mental note to borrow a decent alarm clock from someone) hahah speaking of waking up, i woke up and instinctively looked at my clock, which read "09:00" and for some reason i started panicking because i actually thought it was sunday! mannnnnnnnnnnnn!!!
okok....at least it dawned on me that it was saturday after 5 minutes. =ppp anyway i need to buy some pens from terrence. i only ONE pathetic G1 pen. bah! i seemed to have misplaced everythgin else. damn it! (*mental note 3: buy pens from terrence) hmmm...
now i'm feeling the butterflies, my stomach churning. argh!!! i know i would most probably pass all my subjects but i'm aiming higher this semester. i haven't been puttin in my best for the last 2 years. it's time to pull up my socks, kick my ass and do a hell lot better. sigh.
time to go now. it's time, it's time...
renzi kissed and swore @
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the day when it's another friend's birthday
first and foremost, happy birthday sweetie! happy birthday christie! hmmm well after a long anticipated wait, i finally hurled my arse to no3 to 'surprise' christie. initially i was in a bad mood, but i snapped out of it very quickly. food does wonders i tell you
(oops, guess i have to apologise to a few ppl like winson, christie, kee, ling and zac. will do tat soon)
anyway i had a quickie in christie's place (sounds damn wrong but oh well, intrepret it anyway u want, i dun really give a toss) before i dragged myself out back home. sigh oh well the marketing-paper-preparation is screaming for my attention. sigh
guess it's time to go bac to studying. had a long day but sleep will be compromised for these few days. hahahha....i have to cut and paste this certain section of the email a friend sent to me. it reads:
"So nice to hear you coming on the 12th of June.. or issit july? yeah!!!.. my only regret is that i cant properly entertain you cause i will be stuck in the library scrambling last minute studying if u are coming on the 12th of june... but i could pass you all my brochures and maybe hang out here... (yada yada)... how about skiing? visiting the zoo? .. salamanca?.. if you can just drive around and enjoy the road trip..btw they just lowered the speed limit again.... how long will you be staying here and are you taking the plane or the beautiful spirit of tassie.... oh well... now just study smart do your best for the upcoming exams! dont think so much.... keep in touch and its always great to hear from you... smile! take good care of yourself!if anything you could always let it all out! it makes you feel better! see ya soon"
hmmm don't think so much?? let it out??? hahahha puzzled, i re-read the email i sent to him but in that mail i didn't sound suicidal, maniac or sad. oh well. =) hahahha
time to go....back to studying!!!
renzi kissed and swore @
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Friday, June 03, 2005
the day when i waited, waited and waited even more
mannn...
renzi kissed and swore @
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the day when studying beckons
hmm just had my shower. i managed to wake up almost immediately when my loud irritating phone alarm went off. guess it's the exam-period. hahaha
i'm going to uni now to finish up marketing once through. hmm funny, i'm not as scared as my previous semesters, i'm not too sure why. bahhh...
anyway will prob go out for dinner today, then go for cell. long day today. =ppp
time to go... (no more blog-reading for now renee!!!)
renzi kissed and swore @
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Thursday, June 02, 2005
the day when i was offered a part-time job
=) well was watching some cartoon when someone called me to offer me a job in rapp! whoo! well i'll start work on the 17th and will be working twice a week. I would potentially end on the 7th of july, just in time for the grampians trip. looks like i can't go back to singapore. oh well...
funny. it always happens.
i managed to get a flight back to singapore today AND i got an offer today as well. wow. coincidence? God's will? I dunno... but hmmm i'll prob work in rapp for the two days, and work for a few other days at my usual workplace during the hols.
I just need to keep myself busy in order to not think, brood and miss someone. =(
well...bear with it Renee! Bear with it! ANYYWAYYY a quick happy birthday shoutout to Rachel! For more photos of the surprise birthday party, click here
renzi kissed and swore @
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time passes by so quickly
1st day of june, 1st day of winter...
2nd day of running, 2nd time of 10 rounds...
3rd day of the week, 3rd day without anime...
DYING........ i want the exams to end asap. then again i'm not prepared. ($*#@ sigh...
oh well...anyway highlights of my day (need to whizz through this. i wanna talk to ken boy)
1) went for my last tut. whee! finally i'm done with the sickening tutor. damn it. why didn't we get those feedback forms?? i wanna complain.
2) had a quick meal with terrence in springvale. my first full meal for the day, after snacking on my cravings.
3) MET VICTOR (aka leng zai)! wat a pleasant surprise i must say. i was on my way to my marketing lecture when i bumped into him. it was about time i tell you. after 13 weeks. wow. i'm going to ask him to my place for dinner after my exams.
4) rachel's birthday thingie. well the surprise was a success. one of the food items made me miss singapore. i wanna go back...*sniff*
sigh..tat's about it. it's already 2am. time to talk talk! =)