Thursday, January 29, 2004


THINK ABOUT THIS:

>1. At least 5 people in this world love you so much they would die for
you.

>2. At least 15 people in this world love you, in some way.

>3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you, is because they want to
be
just like you.

>4. A smile from you, can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't
like
you.

>5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.

>6. You mean the world to someone.

>7. Without you, someone may not be living.

>8. You are special and unique, in your own way.

>9. Someone that you don't know even exists, loves you.

>10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from
it.

>11. When you think the world has turned it's back on you, take a look,
you
most likely turned your back on the world.

>12. When you think you have no chance at getting what you want, you
probably
won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, you probably sooner or
later
will get it.

>13. Always remember complements you received, forget about the rude
remarks.

>14. Always tell someone how you feel about them, you will feel much
better
when they know.

>15. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that
they're
great.

----

hmmmmmm can't remember much that has happened these few days..very tired...

yawnnn

sunday: went out for lunch with jean and clarisse...then we went home and played mahjong. hahah no money MJ that is... =) my dad's colleague came to visit me granny and we taught her how to play MJ since she was waiting for me granny to wake up...

anyway had dinner with family and persis' family...den went to gao's place to LO YU SANG...and gamble...lost alot of money...sighhh

monday: went to work...naz came late...so when i came in at 8...everything was still not settled...hahah

after work...ermmm....can't remember much...think i had dinner with jaz, joy, mum, dad and unlce aloy and his wife...hahaha was in such a bad mood..anyway had great beef noodles...yummmm

tues: went to work...punched out early because it was raining....got very lazy..heheh and met bryan.... hahah had lunch with charms and him at MOS...den we went to walk around...kenneth came to meet us ...den left with kenneth and had dinner at SAKAE.... =)

after dinenr.....went home and waited for a while...before we went for our second dinner. fetched clarisse....den played MJ with her, ken and jean. haahhah i planned to surprise her and hehehe =) it was a success...she cried..heheh it was quite funny actually... den we continued playing MJ...

clare stayed over

YESTERDAY...went out to ken's place..and spent a nice time with him at home..jus relaxing and lazin around..was quite guilty becus he was suppsoed to study..hehe anyway had buffet at SAKAE..ehhehhehe had like 27 small dishes of sushi, chawamushi and miscell. items... =) soon after jean came along....gave her a rose...i love making her happy... =) ehehehit was her b/d by the way....

hmmm yeap...den wanted to go home at night to type out everything...do stuff for janelle but it blacked out...it was pretty bizzare (dunno how to spell) actually...hahah only one side of my street blacked out...denm...had to light up candles.... heheheh elvy helped me...den denise and justina came along...and we played in the dark! hehehe MJ tat is...and sighhh........=) and i lost money... =( again..oh well.....

--

sigh..something's wrong with my ICQ...somethign's wrong with my internet conenction....haven't been online much these few days...shall go online later when i get home and seee whether i can rectify anthing..sigh....hate my connection at home...can't use the internet properly....hope i can finish all necessaryy SAM stuff later....

hmmm shall go offline....and PEI kenneth...at his place now...

oh ya...had buffet today with Joe, jon...dr and kenneth at the GAPS...lousy food...paid 20 bucks for that..bleahh..

anyway after that went to watch CHEAPER BY THE DOZEN with jon and dr ...hahah yes...that movie again...

movies that i wanna watch before i go back...
1) the last samurai
2) stuck on you
3) erm...can't remember liaozzz...hahahahahha

CDs i wanna get...
1)milano fashion 2
2) remember
3) robbie williams
4) mona lisa smile soundtrack
5) cheaper by the dozen sondtrack... =)

hahahahah anyway jus put in money in my bank and very happy...have like a thousand in one account..heheh that account ah....is rrealllyyy my hard earned money... very proud of it....first time that i see 1077 heheheh and this money wasn't ilke given to me by anyone..hehehe =)

okok time to go..... it's 6.34....pm...


renzi kissed and swore @ 6:40:00 PM
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Saturday, January 24, 2004


i'm so screwed...sighh.....if something happens i'll be even more scrwerd....if something doesn't happen den i'll still continue something else...and hmm it's a bloody vicous (bah) cycle...when will it end????v i wanna stop it but if i stop it will that person also stop loving me?

=(

and well mama jus gav us her "last words"...quite scary....she woke all of us up in the morning...and hmmm started to tear...cry...could see dad and mum also well tear.... hmmm she finally wants to go to the hospital...will she?

sighh

anyway friday...
- went visitin at por's place...
- saw jas..nothing to say to her, as usual...
- went to aunty 4's house...slapped ray twice... (after a long time...since i came back anyway...couldn't tolerate him throwin his tantrums anyhow....and well being a brat to his elders)
- went to jean's house....and erm..ACCIDENTALLY STAYED OVER

today
- went to watch CHEAPER BY THE DOZEN with jean
- went to kenneth's....hahah was quite nervous..had to BAI NIAN...
- den went for lunch (had sushi AGAIN)
- went home...he had to then BAI NIAN....my parents didn't slaughter u right dear?
- played MJ with eemin and tongli...

now i'm feeling sick...again....another cycle of illness..sighh

(it's 11.30pm)

renzi kissed and swore @ 11:24:00 PM
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Thursday, January 22, 2004


this is Renee reporting from her room in telok kurau lorong k. it's quiet....and Renee loves it....SHITT....Renee's dad is in the room...bahhhhhhh well he jus came into the room....thought he was singing? trying to kill the chickens with his singing? oh well *shrug*

well it has been quite a day today. i occasionally would go up to my room to use the computer because there wasn't anyone really to talk to. BUT when honfei and lolo (or should i jus call them, christian and ben) came, i immediately raced down and well started chatting with them. i grew up with them. although we only would see one another on prob only two to three occasions, it would be enough to see our closeness and bond. =) heheh as what many would say, it's the quality that counts, not quantity. the quality of time that i spent with them these 20 years, is sooo much better than the quantity of senseless outings that i have with some ppl. =)

we chatted for a while, they teased me again. well i punched them as usual...hahah and we jus had a good time in one another's presence. =) we ended going to tampines to watch a movie. i drove them there and yeah...we watched PETER PAN.

peterpan's a nice show i feel. hahah maybe because some part of me can relate to the protagonist. =) hee... i'm sure some ppl feel the same way too. i don't wanna grow up. i mean as the date's impending, adulthood is beckoning. yes i know once the clock strikes 12 on the 1st of april (which happens to be me birthday), nothing magical would happen which would commemorate well that i've become an adult but well i guess some part of me has to let go....or maybe not?

hahahah i just don't wanna grow up, older, whatever you may put it. esp when i turn 21 this year, sigh...it would mean that i've 1)grown a yr older 2)more imptly...i've become an adult...and that would mean, more responsibilities expected of myself in the very near future... and that means also that i can't be kiddish...but i dun want that part of me to die...noooo....never...!

=) heheh i wanna believe in fairy tales, i wanna believe that there isn't that much hypocrisy in the world, i wanna just be innocent, naive, .... i wanna be sheltered.... i wanna believe in true love...i wanna believe in the one... =) i wanna be a kid, not have kids...

hehehe that's quite impossible...ain't it?

well another thing is...can one be truly in love so much so that he/she (more likely than not, it would be the latter though ..hehe) is swept off her feet? i wanna be swept off my feeet.... seriously... =) i wanna love someone so much that i feel that i'm well in a dream. heheh yes yes..naive renee but...yeah...i want that to happen. =) will that be possible? i want someone who can make me moved...to tears? can that happen as well?

oh well renee..u're dreaming...

ahahahhaha shit yeap...i'm dreaming....

Renee, renee...you're really dreaming. you're building castles in the air. do you seriously believe that there's this prince charming who can sweep you off your feet?? if so, you're a kid. and will never grow up

sigh...think i've been watching too many shows...too many movies... =)

oh well jus dream on gal!~ hehehehe

---

karen's coming over soon..in about 10 minutes...going to evitte...yivette's place =) and well yeah....

hahahha Renee's dreaming at 8.20pm =)

renzi kissed and swore @ 8:17:00 PM
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test test?

renzi kissed and swore @ 2:41:00 PM
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DisorderRating
Paranoid:Moderate
Schizoid:Low
Schizotypal:High
Antisocial:High
Borderline:Low
Histrionic:Very High
Narcissistic:High
Avoidant:Low
Dependent:Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive:Moderate

-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --



renzi kissed and swore @ 2:35:00 PM
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The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Fifth Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
LevelScore
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)Moderate
Level 3 (Gluttonous)Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)Moderate
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)Low

Take the Dante's Divine Comedy Inferno Test

renzi kissed and swore @ 2:27:00 PM
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wa super bored now....there are maybe 40+ ppl in my house now...and here i am shutting myself from them. hahah i'm jus so lazy to entertain...i've done my fair share of hypocrisy and patronising people..heheh

hmmm let's see....yeah...as i said in my entry (which didn't appear..bleh), boss kinda chided me...sigh...me is very bad secretary...i really need to get to lai soon man...

yesterday when i was with karen, i passed her a piece of paper and asked her to write something to me, and i did the same for her =) we're going to read it like next year in the same place (tampines starbucks) and same time (CNY eve after reunion dinner) heheh..... well sorta childish...but hey.....it's diff, it's refreshing...

me love refreshing diff things...i need to constantly be surprised...or well doing something diff....

=)

yawn.....hope i dun get into any quarrel with mum soon...lazy to quarrel...me wanna sleeppppp....

laterz~~~ (it's 2.24pm)

renzi kissed and swore @ 2:17:00 PM
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finally...can write in me blog...basket...for the whole of last night i couldn't access this page...oh well BASKET LAH>>>>>>>YESTERDAY I TYPED A REALLY LONG ENTRY AND IT DIDN"T PUBLISH ANYTHING>>>>>

anyway as i said...had reunion dinner yesterday..had many prawns...

met karen after that....didn't bring the car out because stupid dad didn't allow me....

den went for supper with kenneth and joe...

---

well it's 1.30pm and waitinf for more relatives to come in...yawn....sigh....tink i've to go down again....to say GONG HEI FATT CHOOY to ppl....laterSZZZ!!!

renzi kissed and swore @ 1:24:00 PM
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Wednesday, January 21, 2004


not really a chinese new year person but oh well...here's wishing everyone a HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR!!!!!!

renzi kissed and swore @ 6:02:00 PM
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well well...it's almost 6pm.....going to bathe soon...spent the day at jean's ... after lunch, we both dozed off into blissful sleep. hahahah

i'm blasting music now. me dad's beside me using his own computer. i'm so waiting for him to ask me why i'm blastng the music.

u see i asked him whether i could borrow the car...then he said no..not advisable...so i asked why...den he kept queit.....and well he kept skirting the qyuestion..den i asked him again...den he said no reason...basket.....if u have something to say then say lor....no balls

anyway...okok...shall try to avoid swearing, shopping and skipping classes this semester! =)

renzi kissed and swore @ 5:59:00 PM
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hmm it's almost 9.30am....jean woke me up...yawn....she's using my brother's computer to type my mum's complaint letter. hahaha my mum's paying her to type a complaint letter. on the day when i came back, she went to see dr eu, my granny's specialist. dr eu's mannerism, attitude and unprofessionalism with regads to my granny's case really put my mum off, so last friday, she wanted someone to write a bitchy letter, so i recommended jean or karen (aka GEOK PEI..hehe) because hehehe they're my bitchiest friends hahahahh jean's talkin to karen on the other computer...she jus called me a bitch...hahaha wat a bitch..hahahahhah =)

CONGRATULATIONS RENEE!!!!!
ANNYYYWAYYY yesterday i stayed at home the whole day! heheh apart from after 9pm....i stayed at home because of me granny.....waited for dr wong to come look a her condition. dr wong's this family doctor of my granny's. he's pretty old already, prob about close to 65? but he's very humble,and warm,esp to me granny. we're like family already =) he treats my granny like a friend and that's nice. my granny really trusts him alot.

yeap so i was saying, i stayed at home pretty much the whole day. first time this holiday. hehehe after doc came, i went to me mum's room and i used my computer. after a while, i grew really tired, so i took a nap. then i went to jean's place at about almost 6 for a while. had dinner back at home, and went to parkway to yakun.

yakun sells kaya toasts and the usual TEH (tea with milk), KOPI (coffee) and various kopitiam 'dishes', like the half boiled eggs....which i dun really fancy. hehehe

yeah..had a nice time talking....den we went to ntuc, did some shopping. jean's cooking some mushroom pie for me today..yummm....the thought of mushrooms making me drool..hehehe i love mushrooms....

WOW there were so many people in NTUC. i think everyone's doing last minute CNY shopping. hahah just like xmas. =) i can't imagine tomorrow. we were laughin at the peeps around us...

ANYYWAYY i drove back and i turned off the engine. we started chatting again,after we wound the the windows. then jean stuck her head out and looked up in the sky. there were stars! for once, it wasn't that cloudy. i stuck my head out hehe and we chatted like that for a while.

heheh as we proceeded with our conversation, the background music was murmering me favourite CD's music.... =) i really love talkin to jean...

another person i love talkin to is karen. and i made a date with her today. after both our respective reunion dinners, we aregoing to tampines to sit in starbucks to chat. =) we've been doing that since jc2 =) hee....i love it!

yeap yeap....back to yesterday, my mum called me at about 12am and she said 'so late already!!!' hahahha then i repied with a 'yaya' .....but i tink me mum was actually concerned with the car... she called again and told me to get out of the car. she was afriad that ....sorrry afraid that someone may steal the car and knife-point. so oh well. we made our way to the stairway and started talking till 1.30 (?) den went home to sleep....

so that was my day.

today's just going to be reunion dinner. that's it...and of course, i think i'll be going to karen's place to BAI NIAN...den we'll prob head to tampines.

ta for now...me is wanna sleep..... it's 10am

renzi kissed and swore @ 9:56:00 AM
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Tuesday, January 20, 2004


yawn.....goin to prolly watch tv....since i've to stay at home now

renzi kissed and swore @ 10:58:00 AM
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sigh

renzi kissed and swore @ 10:56:00 AM
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well it's 10.37am and i'm at home. was supposed to go tanning with geok pei (aka karen) but i talked to my granny and well yeah...i guess i have to stay at home...

dilemma after another
As i've mentioned before, my granny has a tumour in her large intestines and hmm everyone's advising against telling her....and i too, was quite certain and convinced that that was the way.

but i guess some of my friends PLUS dr eu (the specialist that examined her) have ementioned that mama has the right to know...

SO ethically, i'm supposed to tell...

BUT in actual fact, it's not as easy as it seems...(maybe we've made is so complicated...) my family has woven white lies to cover whatever that has been said so far. it's so intricate that it's hard to break it.

i've been brought up believing that white lies are alright. but i've learnt so far, out of home, that that's fucking bullshit. sometimes the truth is the best. and white lies and just fucking lies.

well me mum thinks, like the rest, that ignorance is bliss, but isit??

if i'm not wrong, on sunday , aunty monica (my family friend who's a nurse) and my mum were going through some documents pertaining to my granny's condition, and when my granny asked whether everything's ok, they said yes. she even said in her cantonese that "HUI DEY GONG OR 'good' LO" (they said i'm good already)....

and guess what...today she complained there's pain in her tummy. then she wondered out aloud why her tummy's in pain when aunty monica and mum said everything's alright. sighh...

in a phonecall with mum jus now, she asked me how. she wants to get my granny psychologically prepared. but in the first place, DUDE YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE WEBBED SO MANY LIES....

mum called and she said, dr wong would be coming down from his clinic at about 5. well he would probably sound her and tell her the truth...is that too late?

i really dunno now..... my (supposed) "duty" to my granny (in not tell her) Vs my conscience....white lies vs telling her the truth.... ignorance is bliss vs honesty is the best policy...

if i do advice my mum (who MAY listen to me) to go ahead with the surgery, i'm going against everyone's wishes...and would that mean that i'm unfilial?
AND
if anything happens, i'd definitely feel guilty and feel like shit. secondly i will get shit from everyone. i'd get the blame from everyone. maybe i sound really selfish...but hey....i'm being fuckin honest now lor...

someone help!

renzi kissed and swore @ 10:55:00 AM
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hmm it's a monday..going to be tues soon...almost 12am..

went for the pre-departure briefing..met a few ppl...soontee (my kindergarden friend), her bo liao friend (who talked alot of cock...waste my time....maybe i started it first...when i said YOU LOOK FAMILIAR...but she really did...oh well *shrug*), chin ling (eemin's close jc friend...had a very good chat with her b4...abt eemin...looon time ago..), the SAS ppl, Lai(sadly....he said he can't do MMN...argh...need to look for someone who's interested in being president for MMN....), danny, sharon, her bf, my BOSS!...hehe and...let's see....gwen (ppl call her gorilla in ac....hahah she rammed into kanen once...while playing in the netball finals), erm....my juniors (jialat..can't remember their names liaoz) and the ****er,mike. sorry.i dun like him...maybe his face made me slightly in a bad mood....he's the one who played with me fl-ABS and teased me when i was playing badminton. well i kinda ignored him and he noticed. danny wanted to go back with me, but when i found out that he was going to bedok, using a train, i opted for the bus. before i left the group, he asked me "how come your replies were all less than 5 words" GO FIGURE DUDE... =p

hmm okok...sorry...for being so bitter...but ya...not happy that he talks to me with such a suggestive tone...maybe i'm being oversensitive now, but after that day, whatever he says, i just fear that he would mention about me weight. i mean...seriously...i feel alright about my weight ( only sometimes when i go green with envy when i walk down orchard or any street, and i see gals who are thin.) but other than that...seriously...i'm quite happy where i am...only hmm maybe the fl-ABS (heh heh) on me thighs and tummy..but i'm happy lor....yes i noe everyone's entitled to their comments but sometimes comments should be reconsidered, and re-thought BEFORE saying anything...like wat the phrase goes, "think before you speak"... and what others may say "keep your comments to yourself" sometimes...it helps...really

yawn....talking to xiaohui now...man!jon got beaten up llast saturday when they went clubbing...hahah gao asked me to go but wasn't feeling too well then already..hmm shall dig out more from her.... hmm jon..that guy...sighh...he chanegd so much since he went into the army....drinking more, smoking more....(after he broke up with fanny) man...ahh..he's one guy who sometimes should keep comments to himself...see...he got beaten up... =p

well i woke up early in the morning to meet jean for breakkie at yakun. had kaya toast, she had 5 slices, i had 2...no appetite....and had 2 cups of tea... yumzz... den after she went off...i withdrew money (finally) from std chartered.... and thought of an idea..(tt i would give my cousin my atm card...more to be told later)

went to see a doc, and went home to rest. then jean called again, after her driving lesson so i went up to her place. we watched a couple of videos, incl FRIENDS BLOPPERS (we laughed quite a bit..heheh matt le blanc and matthew perry are realllllyyyyyyyyyy cuteeeee) yeap yeap....after that i headed to my eye specialist

my eye specialist said i'm allergic to contacts....but i told him i'd still wear them once in a while...because it's more convenient to wear contacts than specs...hmmm well then he recommended me to go for laser...SCARYYYYYYY.....

yeap yeap....then went to parkway to withdraw most of my money out (only about 300+ left) from std chartered den waited for mum to pick me up.

when she picked me up...first thing she did was to reprimand me for sitting infront! i saw that the back was quite squeezy so i chose to sit in front. so the first thing she said was " (in accusing, impatient tone) HERRR-YAAAA....why you wanna sit in front..??! HER YA!" sheesh...give me a break woman...i'm sick...

den when my throat started to itch, and i started to cough, she kept hissing at me....

bahhhh

---

had reunion dinner (mum's side) and it was quite...normal? doesn't feel like a reunion...i mean when everyone's eating at diff times, i wouldn't call it a reunion dinner, would you?

anyway passed persis her present...

okayy..gave her $50 for her belated birthday present (erm...i would rather give her money....) and i gave her my std chartered atm card.... (my pay's coming out soon)... yeap yeap....i mean she did mention a while ago when she kinda compared me to her saying that i don't have to worry about money matters, while she has to, and she briefly said that she had to even borrow from her friend. but i'd rather her take money from me...as what the chinese would say ZHI ZI REN (same ppl) so yeah...i mean i told her in the card to spend or i mean take the money if she NEEDS it...or for an emergency....and well as for the money...aiyoh...HELLO! WE'RE LIKE COUSINS?? hahah her money is her money...and my money..well i dun mind sharing it.... =)

(shit..can't breathe properly..wait i go get my inhaler)

yeap...feel much better now...anyway...yeah...i told her in the card that i wouldn't accept it if she returned the card to me...i was so afriad she'd do that...but her msgs reassured me....=) she said

"hey...thank u so much...i promise i'll keep your card well n only use e money in emergency..thanks cousin hugz..love you too pls tke care k..cheers to cousinship"
AND
"you r really pampering me! from young till now..hai! thanks lots....yada yada....appreciate it!"

i noe she's matured enough so... =) yeap....well should i say maybe this can also stop me from buying stuf.....i have paid mum back for the KL trip...so i dun owe anyone anything =) heheh and well i'll prob get like 100 to 200 bucks from my pay (that will be coming in soon) and i'll buy presents, treat karen to her treat...and yeap...i'm done...heheheh

okok...time to stop for now...i tink i need rest...shall talk to dear for a while...and will go to sleep...

arghh...my stomach's super bloated

sighh...mama's shitting more...and there's pain...more pain i guess...hmmm

it's 12.30am (tues)


renzi kissed and swore @ 12:23:00 AM
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Sunday, January 18, 2004


i'm feeling miserable...=( sick now...got a fever and a flu...sighh...will prob see a doc tomorro before i visit my eye specialist...sighh....dun tink i'll tell mum if not she'll scold me =( today she already nagged. she said "shiqi ah (she always starts off like that) there's one young and one old person in the household as well. please be more considerate and come home early...who ask you to fall sick...yada yada"

sighh..and she made it clear that she wouldn't be too happy with ME if i spread the germs to anyone in my family....

then she continued with my room....haha....lazy to argue, so i left the house early, sat in the car from 9.30 to 9.55, waiting for jean....

anyway had quite a good time talking to kenneth. had lunch with the spices, clarisse and wendy....then i fetched kenneth from ECP and i dropped off my car. we then took a cab back to his place and well we talked quite a bit... was complaining alot to him..shall elaborate abt that soon...

hmmm (they're playing last christmas on class ninety five...what the..??)

yesterday.... in the morning, i drove to karen's place to pass her the MA TI SHU that i bought from KL and heheh.... and we chatted for a while. we discussed about this mutual friend we had (shall not name names...because this story is tragic...shall elaborate when i have more energy...)

then i drove to kenneth's place. i called him and the first thing he said was "shit...you should have called me earlier!" then i was quite pissed at him...i mean i travelled to his house to pass him medicine only to get snapped at....thanks ah...i was sick then already....hmmm oh well...then today i still saw the medicine that he didn't eat at all...sighh...sometimes i dunno whether i should be so nice... =p told him tt already

hmmm den went out with parents....went to OFH....then newton (heheh that was the ultimate killer...guess the phrase YI DU GONG DU is bullocks) for dinner. after that i went to jean's place at midnight to chat with her...heheh ACCIDENTALLY dozed off...

okok...those were the two days...really tired....remind myself to talk about...1) tragic story.... 2)laments to kenneth....

sigh..got work to do for SAM..shall do it tomorrow...feeling like shit now...going offline to sleep...

shall type what i wrote in KL the next time round...

yawn...night...it'ts 9.15pm

*snifffles*

renzi kissed and swore @ 9:10:00 PM
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Saturday, January 10, 2004


i shall continue by saying...i went to mambo on wed...hahah met my pri school friends there, who recognised me. i can't recognise one of them...the other one yee sen (who has an english name now) i could recognise slightly...

went for dinner with the SB gang...quite a big bunch....er...yanty, jess, naz, hen, hen's friend, azurah, liyan, bak, veron, karen lung, kelvin, fazli etc.......

and hahahha had dinner near zouk (because we got the chop first) den....after that...i took a cab down to double o to meet karen and her friends (ie my pri sch friends and a few more of her NTU friends)....we drank a bit...and the gals got slightly tipsy...then went over to zouk...

i kinda felt like a baby sitter...because most of her friends were quite tipsy, high...hahah so i was looking out for them...karen was happy high..hahha it was quite funny.....but they left early so i went back to the SB gang to join them. didn't dance just sat there because i was quite sick of RnB....beside us was....Kenneth and friends! hahahah so i messaged him and yeah....he came over. we didn't dance after that....we walked to SHELL to grab something to eat...den we walked back. zouk was going to close soon, so we met the rest of them. saw abby....and she had to go back asap to "sobber up" to go back to US...hmmm.....nothing to say about her. tink it's stupid dom's fault. when we were together, he told me that he used to like her, and since then i didn't really had an inclination to talk to her at all...so yeah...

anywayy took a cab home and that was the end of wed for me.... =) or maybe thurs...heheheheh

--

shall ask mum n dad whether they need me this week, if so, i will not go to KL....

i'd be quite disappoitned but hey i'd rather be with my granny =)

renzi kissed and swore @ 11:22:00 AM
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8th January 2004 (ThUrSdAy): my day sucked at some point

hmmm feeling quite sick now....yawn...anyway wat happened eh? blurs too...hahahah i'll start from the morning...woke up with very little sleep after zouk....heheh FINALLY went to mambo..

then went to jean's place and chilled for a while...had yong tao fu for lunch (her mum made) and we took a cab down to ubi. jean applied for her PDL and advanced. we went to the robinson's sale down at changi expo and hahaha we bought stuff for the spice gals....i bought stuff for myself...sighh...die lah....i thought i was supposed to be on a tight budget.....tsk tsk..must really go on a cash diet...

i bought three shirts, a bag and a pack of bright underwear *griN*

i took another cab and sent jean home because i was late to meet shaun. but on the way i decided to take the cab to the nearest MRT after dropping off jean...(because shaun, as usual, was going to be late) mannn...everyone is always late..i mean isn't being early a virtue (shit sounds like some text book answer) but yeashhhh i feel that being on time, at least, is important because 1)you're not wasting anyone's time 2)you respect the person to even be on time 3)shit..lost my thread of thought....hahah but of course there are some exceptions like work...and maybe even family...

okok...anyway went to marche with shaun. had a nice lunch with him. and had an even better chat with him. heheh he recommended me to do meditation...hmmm

BECAUSE......

i am uncomfortable with silence...hahaha with ppl, when i'm by myself. hmmm when i sleep i need music, i'm very uneasy without music. when i am walking down the street, i need music. when i'm in the bus, i need music. you get the drift... and

when i'm with ppl....i see the need to constantly be talking...because i just hate silences. i noe it's bad....hahah that's what shaun says...maybe yeah./....i really should try meditating. even sometimes i feel uncomfortable with kenneth because there are silences, but shaun says guys are like that. and i retorted saying that there are some guys whom i know who can constantly talk...hahaha and shaun replied saying "more often that not, these guys have no substance" hahahahh well that reallyyyy...i beg to differ...i guess...hahahha i shall learn...i shall try....it's very hard because i've always been like that since young...

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oh have i told u lately....that my resolution is to be less nice. =) HAHAHAH yeahh...karen said...what i resolution...but why do NY resoultions (esp) have to be good...? okay maybe "less nice" is not the right phrase....how about "more firm" (character-wise)...? hahahhahah

----

hmmm it's 1107 hrs on a saturday morning...it looks cloudy...ominous...tsk

dad and mum haven't broken the news to mama yet..

---

oh ya...haven't finished my day actually (for thurs) went out with my parents...and we bought a digicam...it's the SONY camera...wasn't too happy. it seemed like i was forced to buy it...even my dad said "don't let anyone(hahah this time round, my mum) make your decisions". hahaha but if i dun choose that particular model or maybe the models that had been presented to me...(mostly SONY models) instead of the olympus C5050....sighh..oh well..beggers can't be choosers. oh yeah as i was saying...if i don't choose that, dad will get shit from mum...i'll get it too....i hate it when she gives me the disapproving look, i hate it when she gives me sarcastic unnecessary comments. save it for yourself dude...

hmm yeah....

anyway after that, had dinner with them den went to gao's place to play MJ with crystal and mike. man...lost money again.... yeah..maybe i should heed kenneth's advice and STOP GAMBLING...bleah

okok...time to go....

it's 1113hrs...

renzi kissed and swore @ 11:13:00 AM
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Friday, January 09, 2004


what happened on thurs as welll???

we shall start with today den

9th January 2004 (friday): Tiring day...

well what hapened today? woke up early in the morning den..had to send mama to the hospital once again...bleahh...in the taxi she kept complaining and making lotsa comments...oh well...

e doc did a scope for her and found a tumour in her large intestines...too bad i dun have a scanner...if not i'll post up the thing...it's disgusting..but when the doc told me i was quite stunned actually...and well he arranged for her to have an operation on thursday next week... hmmm i'm quite calm now lah....wa...yuou should have seen me just now...i was actually traumatised in a certain way...had to pretend to my granny nothing's wrong...i mean i couldn't bring myself to tell her... (my mum initially wanted me to tell her but please...she'll freak out) i'll leave the job of that to my mum....

i noe what my granny's reaction will be like again...the other time when she had to go to the hospital the second time... she gave me a real long talk,. telling me to listen to my parents and take care of my brother because she thought she was going to die...sighh..if she tells me that again...tink i'll cry...just like the many times....hmmm tink kenneth and karen's used to it...

hmm in the cab after i sent mama home, i was tearing slightly...prob because i was very tired, emotionally, psysically as well as even...spiritually.... well yeah...den i decided to call kee hung, since i haven't spoken to him in a while....spoke to him all the way till i reached the dental clinic....WA i paid like 75 for the check up...but feel much better....i love going to the dentist..heheh like a little pain....it's good once in a while...it keeps u awake....hmmm i'm rambling now...very tired...

after that met kenneth...went to his place and slept....

had dinner den went to the SB chalet.....so glad i didn't get saboh-ed...hmmm only wee got....speakin of him..had a brief chat with him...really miss talking to him...but seemed like he couldn't wait to shove me into the cab..hahah..oh well...

during the awards (it's an annual thing lah) presentation...they had sorta an entertainment thingie..den they asked a few of the partners to come up...i was one of them...den i was assigned to dance with azlan aka sharp teeth..hahahah quite funny...think everyone was quite shocked atthe way i danced....dum dee dum..tink azlan was as well...tink better thank their lucky stars that i didn't drink ....at tt pt of time lah...

did drink..prob two shots of vodka....but that's abt it...

hmmmm

while the presenters, fazli and yanty were presenting their second award, they were still upstairs (the chalet was 2 storeys lh) and hahah yanty said through the mike "renee i can see your long kang!" hahhaha quite embarrassing...well wearing this pretty low top i guess...hmmm i dun really care lah....hmmm and bak kept joking with me that he wanted to hehe hanky panky with me....quite funny,....so i played along with him...well i do that to ppl who are sporting and spontaneous and get the kick out of jus jokes i guess..hehehe

okok...enough for today....

what about yesterday????

-------

i shall go take a quite shower first....did i mention that im at kenneth's again...he's playing his disney PS game....dunno what he's playing...shall learn...but not good if not i get hocked den DIEEEEE>....

it's 11.36pm

renzi kissed and swore @ 11:41:00 PM
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Wednesday, January 07, 2004


erm.......wait...before i forget...what hapened on sat?? argggh....

renzi kissed and swore @ 12:25:00 PM
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hmm....in kenneth's place once again....brrr..its damn cold...hahahaha his air con's always really really cold..it must be at the most 16 degrees now...brrrr...i can't even type properly...anyway came to his place to sleep in the morning..didn't sleep much because played MJ till like 4 plus then we went for supper had prata... =) then kenneth sent me back...hahaha on our way back he was damn cute...talkin cock lah...talking about chickens and yeah....tink he was super tired...grateful that he did send me home though..heheh =) i love it in the wearly mornings because it's jus so quiet.... =)

anyway before we fetched the two dudes to my place....was slightly irritated at keneth...hmm probably because he kept going on and on about my actions not showing that i care anad stuff...wa laoo...jus becos i came to his place to c check my email...my internet conenctions sucks at home lor...so i havfe to use the internet at his place....then i have to settle some SAM stuff also marrr.... blehh... yeah.....thats why i swore quite a bit when i was driving...and he did ask whether i was angry with him....wasnt lah...just irritated lorrzzz...

---

what happened on sunday? hmmmmon the 4th.....i went out with the guys for lunch.......we went to coffee club because cartel couldn't house a large no of ppl...hehehe so yeah...ppl who went were weihao, edwin chak, yiwen, sze hao, dr, jon, joe, jingxi, ian,dear, ben,alex....hahahha...had quite a nice chat with yiwen...didn't noe she was at brown for almost 4 years! wow how time flies...

and dr did this really hilarious trick with the singapore 50 dollar note...actrually any note can be used...but he cracked quite a few ppl up..hehehe

after that.....had to go down to golden mile to book a trip to msia...going down to KL next week..may call some ppl up when i go down..see how lor...hmmm

went to kenneth's and slept after that....den we had dinner at cartel =) had ribs......saw jaime, summer, jialin and another butch... =) nice to see jialin...hahhah

-------

okok...that's all for now..can't remember much leh..jialat....poor memory kickin in...

hmmm just read charms blog....adn she told me about it...hmmm i can't say i have no comments about it....n it's pointless to say don't bother about what ur mum said...well will talk to her about it......don't wanna blog this down...

argghh meeting on monday.....

arghh...so many things up this week

wed:zouk...whooo!
thurs:meeting shaun...will ask geok pei whether she wants to meet for dinner
fri:apt with eye specialist...den dentist apt...then chalet
sat:work....bleh
sun: er....home??? hahhaah

okok....i'm really freezing....and hungry...and kenneth's still sleeping...hahahah he looks so cute when he sleeps...heeh =)

laterz!!! (it's 12.19pm)

renzi kissed and swore @ 12:23:00 PM
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Tuesday, January 06, 2004


ahahhha i'm sitting here in kenneth's room.....think he's outside now..oh he just came in..he's grumpy now..hahah because i'm noy "spending time" with him..hahah gotta settle my enrolment...still tinkin whether i should do yeah...er psych....

anyway had a good day today working....went to starbucks..worked from 8 to 5...shhhahha arranged to go with the gals (mostly lesbians) and chris to zouk...whoopie! finally!! jehehjejej..its going to be fun..tink the gals are going to make yanty drunk ebcause it's her b/d tomorrow...heheh

anyway met a lot of customers...ehehheh nice talkin to them once again..hehehe had loads of slams...which i thoroughly enjoyed...

hmmm shall make this chop chop..then i can talk to kenneth...can't do two things at one time...

hmmm



yesterday...hmmm wat did i do? went to send mama to the hostpital for a check up.....sigh....mama's anguished look is still in my head...sighh.hope she's alright....

very impressed with the doc..though he was a little impersonal i feel....heheh dr wongs the best to mama i guess...




after that...went to send money for aunty (my maid...i call her aunty).....back to the philippines...den i went to aunty molly's place where i cut my hhair again..she said my hair texture is quite nice...only i shouldn't dye my hair..dunno leh...sighh..i still want to..heeheh

anyway talked to u. aloysious...hmmm got quite a bit of objections to his ideas.....mainly his ideas of parents knowing best.hmmm..oh well this to b told some otyher time..

and...after that..went to watch SCHOOL OF ROCK..hahah watched most shows twice already..heheh...i felt bad..because had to squeeze with 4 guys in 4 seats..heheh tahnk goodness it was in PS where we could push up the handles...but still felt bad......kenneth seemed quite grumpy..

after that...we met joe and his army of gals..hehe tink he can make a great gay friend..how i wish i had one...maybe i should nudge eemin..hehehehe...

yeah...we had dinner at cartell.....and met one of kenneth's friends who just ORDed if i'm not wrong....hahaha heard stories about him....nice guys nonetheless...

went to kenneth's place to sette me enrolment...but still considerin whether to do film studies....hehehe




okok...that's for the two days..mon and tues....tues hasn't ended cos i'm going to fetch tongli and cavin and we're goin to place MJ at my plac.e.hehehehehe =)

laterS!!

it's almost nine pm....

where's everyone??? no one's updating blogs no more!!! sniffles~

renzi kissed and swore @ 8:56:00 PM
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Friday, January 02, 2004


i'm sitting here in the office, probably one of the last times.... hmmm will kinda miss this place.... =) hahah but i'm glad its over!! wheee!!!

heheh rencong jus called...i taught him how to forge something..hope everything goes smoothly...if not if he gets caught, it's a chargeable offense..hehehe

anyway going to meet mum soon..hopefully can meet kenneth after...sighh...dunno whether i should see him that much....well if i do so almost eveyrday (and i wante to) i will be so sad when i leave hmmm sighh.....

annnddd well dunno whether he wants to.... i mean he says it...but talk is cheap sometimes...

and i tknow i'm putting in alot more effort now lor...

anywayyyyy


let's see...what happened on the 30th........shucks can't remember...tink i went out with charms, jason, kenneth and derong...hahaha derong talked sooo much during dinner..hahah he kinda reminds me of a small kid..... (so does clarisse) heee.....yeap yeap.... and well went with kenneth and dr after that to actually watch a movie....SCARY MOVIE (retarded movie..they should change...hold on

renzi kissed and swore @ 2:22:00 PM
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i'm back again........ hahaha nothing much to do in the office because i'm officially an ex-staff of standard chartered..whoo!!!

waiting to use my own computer but weiguang is using the computer...so since i have a little time, i might as well make full use of it, by using blogger....i haven't written an entry in donkey days! =p fingers are itchy!!1

let's see..what did i do yesterday...i came back home from kenneth's place (stayed over at his place) then i went back to laguna park to meet danielle. we swam and hahaha we had a good chat, as usual. i miss blading with her. we kinda arranged to go blading today but she was tired, and so was i =) ANYWAYYYY... we tanned and after an hour or so, jingxi and clarrise came to join us. heheh first time i did something: had an ice cream in the pool =) eheheh

anywyayyyy after that, xi and myself went over to jean's place (jean was angry with us a while before that...because we apparently didn't inform her that tanning session was pushed forward to 11am...sheesh *shrug*)

we had lunch in jean's place, watched this SAD and retarded chinese flick...den we went up to her room. xi and myself dozed off when jean took a shower (i was soooo dead tired because i couldn't sleep much in dear's place...i need 1)a bolster...2)my own house) heheh so yeah...after her shower, jean forced us to play monopoly, which i didn't put in any effort whatsoever at all because i was meaning to lose all my money and declare bankrupt,so i could sleep...but after a while, jean gave up because the both of us (xi and myself) were dozing off.

ahahha after that...jean went down to cook and xi and myself left her house. went down back to my hosue (jean's my neighbour) and i used the internet. talked to so many people online. ppl like tongli, donald (peeps that used to go to church), jeremy liang, who else?? can't really remember...but yeah...hahah tongli asked me whether i wanted to go to zouk...but hmm he was going with evan and her friend...wasn't to interested so i msged gao....he declined me offer, msged danny, said he was broke..BAHHH...........

sooo went to watch a movie with jean. hahaha pirated about 50 bucks from my mum..since she claimed she gave me a present from bangkok...which is a LIEEEEE....hahaha wa laoo..when she goes on holidays or business trips, she would buy me stuff...and this time round, it was the same...but she claimed that the chain (which i won't use i must add..BECAUSE....it's not white gold....dun tink my skin can take it) was my present...SO KIAMMM...maybe because she's spoilt me already...for almost 3-4 years, she's been giving me about 500 bucks each christmas...bahhhh

ANYYWAYYY we watched UNDER THE TUSCAN SUn.....sucks....plot was sucky......the lady's life evolved all around sex...man~ hahah was actually surprised that the sensorship board didn't ban this movie or make it R(a) since there was obvious tones of lesbianism. oh well

---

that was my day for yesterday...and i ACCIDENTALLY dozed off at jean's place...hahah had a really good chat with her. i miss her so much. well she made sense....since i came back, i would be either working or going out with kenneth. probably that's why when kenneth wants to go out with his friends, i wouldn't be too happy. but there should be no reason why i react this way, in fact it's not acceptable. i mean yeah...he needs his friends and if anything at all, i feel i'm the intruding one sometimes. yeah. hahah well he says i'm not happy when he goes out with his friends and stuff...but i recognise the fact that he needs to...but he doesn't believe me =(

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aNYYYWAYYYyy..... on new years eve...was rushing through work...because it was my alst day at std chartered... =) stayed till 2 plus den went to meet kenneth for lunch. after lunch (which i treated for the first time..heheh and i'm broke by the way) we went to kenneth's place and i took a nap. i didn't wake up at all for almost two hours...guess i was really tired...hehehehe..... anyway went home to 'help out' my mum because she organised an annual party.....i looked at the food and told my mum (i tink it's a very bad habit...it happened to the LAST BASH as well..hahah) there was not enough food, and she panicked so i offered my services to drive out to buy food. well came home and there were tons of ppl....couldn't go to xi's place yet...had to mingle so i did. i flicked from group to group, entertaining the guests...it was boring shit, but oh well.....to get the car, the camera and my freedom, it was worth it.

and at about 9 i headed to xi's place and we counted down from there =)

time to go..more to come! after i settle the damned administration for Std chartered...if not no pay and i MAMPOS!

renzi kissed and swore @ 1:22:00 PM
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