Sunday, November 30, 2003
it's 8 in the evening and i'm at home *SURPRISEEEE** hahah going out in a few minutes time....lazyyy....anywayy went out with anne to er parkway...tried calling bryan to ask whether he was free for dinner this week...he wasn't at home so..hmmm
anyway went out with the guys (mike, jon teo, dom, gao, lam, derrick) for a while in orchard and yeah..took a bus back home. was interrogated by gao and jon teo..hahah found out stuff in return..bwahahah
hmmm going out with gao klater..dun feel like...feel like seeing kenneth..hmm
dunno wat he's doing now...tink he's at home...shall drive over for a while before i meet gao later..
anne was playin this game in church.....shall ask erm her for the address,,....need to ask ARNIE BABY (tt's wat i call her) for her resume too...dunno why...for a 1 mth temp job i need to like hand in a re sume....FARNEY BARNEY man,....
my grandaunt scolded me today...man for nothing! because my mum actually told her i can't make it for the switzerland and paris trip...bloody hell..always putting words in my mind...not like i had a good day to start off with... went home straight away i had to endure some stupid scolding from her...dunno lah...tink i'll attempt to kill her when i get to paris... =pp... MURDER IN PARIS...
hmmm stupid habit of my mum....always assuming things about...always fucking putting words in my mouth..she could always ask first...
hmmm bahh..everything tat i say today would prob be quite nasty...so i shall stop...going to drive off to gao's place soon....if kenneth doesn't repl...sighh
renzi kissed and swore @
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hmm it's 1.40pm and i've got loads to update...got alot written in my book..ehheh shall write that soon..
anywayy wat did i do yesterday...? didn't bring my book anywhere yesterday..hehe okok..
went to ikea for meatballs with kenneth after his exams...dennn...we went to his place to watch simpsons...er talked as well. cried too..hahah
well...long story..
anyyywayyy.... den i went to meet izzy and his friends...went to drink. after that went off to starbucks because i had no mood to walk down orchard with anyone... hmmm
then met a few of my colleagues...talked to them for a while. finally wee had his break so talked to him fr a while den had to go for sharon's thing. had another drink...den went to meet kenneth... supposed to go for supper BUT he wasn't feeling too well so..yeah
hmmm let's see..nothing else happened...was feeling down..still feeling down...
guess it's because i agreed to work in Standard Chartered but i started to regret...wanted to like ask janelle whether she wanted to take over me. i messaged karen (my best friend) den she called me back and reprimanded me. sigh..i always get myself into messes...tsk tsk...fuck lah... i'm such a....arggh! can't even find a right word for it... yeah i noe i will earn quite a bit of money but i would actually prefer to spend more time with kenneth before he goes back to uni...sigh...
i noe it's stupid to think this way but sometimes i feel that he doesn't care...well my mood's like that now...i mean sometimes i just get such feelings and thoughts...it scares me...
speaking of which, after work on friday (28th) went for dinner with karen. den we sat ourselves down at SB my workplace and told her everything i wanted to tell her. she scolded me and said she was disappointed. tat was one.
told her about some other thigns about blogs and my crying etc...den she made me think. she said tt i can't always use the excuse that ppl can't change. true true..i guess i have to agree with her. i am stubborn too. that she pointed out, not only tt day but like 2 years ago, then she said i should listen more also.
she also said i was very selfish..which is true. i knew that all along. and well her comment for that was to tell me it was about time i should consider ppl's feelings as well. tahat'''...i mean that i really have to learn slowly...i gues...sighh...
i'm such a bitch!!!! argghh.... i feel in such misery now...dunno..got loads on my mind. should i tell or not???
hmmm den yeah talked about my r/s with kenne as well. den she asked why she sensed like the lack of trust on my part aaas well as scepticism ... well i cried then. really cried. well i couldn't help from time to time to think that he would find someone better ...or maybe wake up one day and think SHIT WHAT THE >...or WHY THE FUCK WAS I STUPID ENOUGH TO GET TOGETHER WITH RENEE...???? YUCCCKKK that really scared me.....but guess....commitment is there already i guesss....hmmmm
told that to kenneth also. he said he wouldn't break up with me...but i really dun wan him to give me such promises. i really cannot take heartbreaks or hurts. i've seen enough, i've experienced some and it really hurts. and i can never forget it. sighh
okok...enough of that...if not i'll start tearing again...
anyway in church now.... waitin for some of my frens to finish carolng practice...
hmmm....i miss kenneth...i noe...i dunno why also...i mean in aussie i dun miss him as much? i guess i MAKE myself SOOO busy that i hardly have the time to think much less miss him....
shit...lost my thread of thought....
hmmm... oh told kenneth i wanna make the effort to make sacrifices for him and make time for him esp in aus...den he said "i want to believe it dear but some part of me is saying YEAH RITE"...sighh...
is everyone giving up hope on me??
really...is everyone?
renzi kissed and swore @
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Friday, November 28, 2003
CON'D... (went for lunch with geok pei aka KaReN....ANYWAYYY....here goes)
HMMM going to meet humpa later for lunch. shall bring him to raffles place. i will bring him to this place where i normally go when i was working in an office in RP (called G.K Goh Stockbrokers)
after tat i've to meet danny to go to sharon's b/d thingie
hmm that's it for today. sigh. everyone says i'm fat now. hahha but i shall be working, going to lose weight like tat.
let's see...this week...tues...work...meett ren ren
wed:work meet izzy
friday:karen...
yeap..tat's is for now..i wanna go shopping when me get money!
---
3.12pm: it's almost 3 and i'm out with bryan at this place called modestos. bryan is having his interview and i also followed suit. see lah...see whether i can get a better paying job lor..hahah
anyeway it's getting hot and humad. i'm getting hot and sticky... but i still can't sweat properly...die ah
just had lunch at my usual place at RP...looks like i can still eat spicy food...whee!
hmm aunty5 asked me whether i wanna go for a trip but i'd rather get the money....it's for my 21st b/d....should i ask dad for cash too???
renzi kissed and swore @
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in the office now...nothing much to do..so here's a continuation for the 24th November
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11.37am: Bah! This sucks!!! i typed quite a long entry and it didn't register in blogger...damn blogger!!
SHALL TRy...shall try to recap what i've actually written. wrote about my day yesterday. nothinh much. just went to the airport. did some shoppping inside before i went off back to spore. although my handcarry was like super heavy..11kg!!!! but yeah. had a good seat. thank goodness what josh said didn't come true ie smeely old man sitting next to me. instead there was this sweet gal called mary-anne doing her year 11 in aus. she's transitting in spore spore before goin to germany for an exchange programme. =) then she'd be stopping over in spore for a short 2 week holiday. damn should have given her my number so i can play host to her.
HMMM met my senior from AC basket. i keep forgetting her name. charms should know her. she always does tae boh too....shall ask charms for her name.
met also chris. he saw me and said "you from monash?" at first i didn't recofnise him why did i even put tt phrase?? well he said he was ryan's friend so well chatted with him. seems like a pretty nice chap. he's stayin inspore for a whilebefore he goes back to malaysia den comin bak after tt......we exchanged nos . so guess we'll meet up.
let's see went home and i told my mum i was going out but she wasn't too happy. went out anyway. went to look for karen and kenneth. both weren't surprised. bahhhh!!!
hmm let's talk about today. went to look for por por in the morning. then we talked for about an hour.left the place. thought of going to some place to sit and drink and use the internet. well hahahah used for 15 minutes then i go cut off (each customer was limited to 15 min...$(&%($#$* )
so now i'm seated here in pacific cafe. i like this place. i get to people watch and i get to see them singaporeans walk to and fro me.
ermmmm TO BE CONTINUED>...
renzi kissed and swore @
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Thursday, November 27, 2003
24th November
8.34am: am on my way to por por (my granny)'s house. mum wants me to be there ASAP. spoke to her when we were waitin for dad to pick me up from the airport. hmm mum says that por por sounds depressed and she is hintin that she wants to move in with my uncle. currently she's stayin by herself. well one time she got so worked up by what my mum said that she retorted back saying "i'll die and commit suicide for you to see then you know (something to that extent)". sigh guess she feels neglected and lonely. sigh, usual, normal?
hmm a little ticked off by what dad/mum wrote. it says " hi finally it's a disappointing fact to know that 3 persons' worries at home are worth your friend's mere surprise!" come on! give me a break! i wanted to surprise karen when i touched down and she is my best friend for cryuin out loud!
I know my parents care and want me to rest but i know that's just a bloody secondary reason. they're afriad that people (ie karen's parents) would be bitching and saying stuff about my parents. all they care about is their face
and when i first read the note today i was thinking HA SINCE WHEN ARE YOU NOT DISAPPOINTED IN ME? since when were they not unhappy at whatever i do? maybe i have been defyin them but hey almost 15-17 years of my life i've been very obedient but hey no word of praise no words of encouragement?? and please don't say asain families are like that. i know that. i tell that to my friends. hey but why do my parents (mainly my dad) praise my bro then??
i'm just ticked off. i'll cool down. got loads to ramble on. but shall do that later when i actually get online. coulnd't do that just now. goin to meet bryan later anyway. then sharon's party.
tues: work, meet ren ren
wed:work meet izzy...
friday karen!!!!
renzi kissed and swore @
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Monday, November 24, 2003
SHIIIIIIITTTTTTTT............
renzi kissed and swore @
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argghh dun tell me what i just typed in all went to POFF!
renzi kissed and swore @
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Saturday, November 22, 2003
Dear DIary,
Just got home from Josh's place. We went to church first then made our way to the glen to buy groceries. We fetched Charms and went over to his place when he cooked. (while the two of us watched aussie idol with his sis...speaking of whom...we didn't get properly like introduced)
The food was not bad. Had grilled chicken with butter sauce (very very very very FATTENING...but i took the most..heheh) and grilled mushrooms and eggplant. YUMM
After eating, we slumped onto the couch and soonafter i dozed off.
....
in the morning, went out with wai kok (my grandfather's borther's daughter i tink)... i call her GU JIE...dunno why...dun ask me about how to call my aunts and uncles...BLUR...but yeah....had breakkie with her in maccas. after that met my aunt and went to buy loads of stuff to bring back to spore ...
...
nothing much happened today already...
Wish upon a star,
Renee Yang
renzi kissed and swore @
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Dear Diary,
Some specific parts of my body are aching. I dunno why
Some things triggered me to think and ponder about loads of questions and deliberations that have been going on in my head.
Some body is sick...wish i can do something.
Some movie was funny yesterday... it was called SCHOOL OF ROCK (went to watch with jiew, KH, byron, jacks, janelle n ryan)
Some ppl think they're fat where in actual fact they are bloody skinny
Some times i just feel like i'm all alone. Maybe it's true, maybe it's just PMS
Some days when PMS kicks in I FEEL LIKE FUCK!
....
goin off to meet my aunt...yuck (the one i was forced to meet) den meet jasmine's mother (my other aunt...oh conveniently known by jackie as the "mee siam aunty") to buy miscellen items like mangoes and nougat (for kenneth's parents)
went to the glen a COUPLE of times yesterday.
1) with janelle, paul, charms, josh to eat lunch (at taipei delight) then look for sponsors
2) with josh to buy tim tams for my favourite gals back in spore (jean and karen)
3) movie with the guys
....
argghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i fEeL lIkE crAp...
Wish upon ANYTHING rite now...arghh!!!
RenEe YanG
renzi kissed and swore @
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Friday, November 21, 2003
Dear Diary,
I'm waiting for Josh to pick me up. We're going to look for sponsors for SAM =PPppP Think charms is still sleeping, wonder what time she got home. I got home and called kenneth and went to sleep.
Woke up at about 9.30 when giap called. He was supposed to like pick me up to go to this chocolate factory outlet which sells really cheap but good quality chocolates, but because of time constraints, we decided not to go. Tink giap went back to sleep, i called my aunt (this one is from HK) and told her that i was sick and arranged to meet her tomorrow. Argh! I don't wanna meet her, that's why i lied that i was sick. BUt stupid me patronisingly(got such a word) suggested meeting her tomorrow, and she agreed to meet me for dinner. ARGH!! i really have nothing to talk to her about. We are world's apart. Probably just like my cousin in australia (jasmine).
Balls to that, can't be bothered to think about that for now. Probably call her tomorrow and tell her i'm still sick. Hey i was forced to give her a call by my mum. At least i did make a slight effort to attempt to meet her. I'd rather meet Tina (my other cousin from Darwin who came over to melbourne to study). A pity that she is only free when i'm occupied and vice versa. BAH!
Let's see where did i go yesterday? Went to my dentist, then went to the glen (mentioned that in my earlier entry) and then went to meet jackie, by the ron ron, charmaine, jiew, gerard, oaky, kee, janelle, ryan, sze min and brother. Had dinner at clayton, then made our way to bowl in chaddy. I did quite badly for my first two games because i was focussing so much on the correct techniques that giap was teaching me. Then i thought to myself HECK IT LAH..then i did pretty well for my last game...score was 151. When i get back to singapore, i shall make my way to probably jackie's bowl and bowl a couple of games by myself n train correctly. But giap says as long as u score it's alright. However i feel i need to also learn the correct technique.
Strange i put in effort for the things i like to do. Tsk tsk...
After that we went to kee's place and hung out. drank and made jackie drunk. She puked and cried. She mentioned (well more like mumble) that she was feeling like crap. Probably becase of the amount of alcohol she took in.
I'm going to MIA for my birthday.
Shall put up photos for the trip that we made to wilson's prom soon.
Hmmm josh is late. I shall call charms right now.
----
charms is not picking up her phone. oh well think she came home pretty late. janelle wanted to like go to her place. dunno her plans. shall see later.
argh! another big spider in the corner of my room. but this is not as hedieous (bah wrong spellin) as the other spider giap killed. yuck yuck yuck!!
hmm read ryan's mail yesterday. have a lot of comments, but i can't seem to find the right time to talk to him. And yvonne said she wanted to consolidate all our replies and reply to him but i find that pointless, if she rephrases what the rest of us say because there would be DEFINITELY some form of misinterpretation. Rather not have that. If the rest decide to do that, fine by me but i would definitely speak to ryan myself. Even kee also said wait for yvonne to talk to ryan. What the?? i mean i am entitiled to a say. i don't need a spokesperson to help me voice out what i want to say especially when it comes to opinions about a certain view. that's just me i guess. But for such a situation, i would prefer to do it myself.
hmm everyone's kinda slacking for blogs. not much reading pleasure lately. Oh well guess it's the holidays. I think once i get back to singapore i would also slacken. We shall see. Think i would type my blog in kenneth's house but other than that, i can't really see myself typing my blog at home (because i'm seldom at home, i notice the similarity in aussie and spore) and i can't see myself finding the time to because i always make myself so sooo busy (once again i see the similarity in aus and spore)
my body's telling me to slow down and relax and rest but i prefer to just push myself. Until i fall sick, i won't stop going i think. hehe.
okayz time to go. Charms just called. YAY! at least someone to complain to about my aunt later.
Wish upon a star,
RenEe Yang
renzi kissed and swore @
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Thursday, November 20, 2003
Dear DIary,
there's a spider in my toilet! It is perched just above the area where toilet paper is being dispensed. YUCK! Speaking of spiders, i saw one today perched on the ceiling at my dentist. Can't imagine if it actually drops into my mouth. ANyway i went for my dentst apt after i met Jackie for a while. We took a couple of photos for her mock graduation and I was just thinking, 2 years more renee 2 years more. WEnt to see my dentist and i changed my bands from pink to red. Preparing for christmas and chinese new year already. My dentist said i don't have to see any one when i'm back in spore. Think he tightened for 3 mths worth. OUCH! It will definitely hurt tomorrow. DIEEEEE... That's why, i took porridge in TUNG WO with giap after that. We had quite a good chat and catching up session just now.
After that i went for bubble tea with him at happy cup. didn't dare order pearls though. Giap's drink tasted funny though. When we went out, we got a fine!!! we both overlooked the do not park sign because we both saw 1P instead. Actually it was me. Feeling very guilty now. Shall pay giap later for half the fine i guess =PPP
---
Went for a trip to Wilson's Prom for the past few days. Shall talk about that soon.
Feeling sleepy. Oaks is going to pick me up in 15 minutes. SO i shall like look pack a little bit to save time.
From REnee Yeong
renzi kissed and swore @
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Wednesday, November 19, 2003
renee yang shiqi spins tunes as
DJ Resounding Bubbles
renzi kissed and swore @
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Tuesday, November 18, 2003
Dear Diary,
I'm feeling really tired but i guess i know why. I haven't really been sleeping properly, not to mention having enough sleep. Oh well...
Let's see, what did i do for the past few days.
On friday, i got home at about 5 plus. I slept at about 7 and woke up at 11.
On saturday, i messaged josh because he complained that he missed the maccas breakfast. And i asked whether he could take me to buy some flour etc to bake. We picked up charms and went to have lunch. And then shop at the glen. We grabbed bubble tea and dropped by josh's place where we slacked and relaxed for a while. Then charms and i went home because josh had to go to church. I dropped my groceries and went out of the house immediately because it was just too hot. 39C for crying out loud. I really can't imagine summer. I think i would MELT.... MELLLLLTTT!!!!
After an hour or two of playing badminton, i went out for dinner at sofias with a group consisting:
oaky
gerard
jiew
janelle
charmaine
CH
byron
sze min
giap
ryan
kee
ling
that's about it i think. After dinner, we decided to go bowling. upon reaching chaddy, we realised that there was like no space for the 10 of us who wanted to play. then there was a group of ppl who went out of the bowling alley to discuss the arrangements for wilson's prom. there was another group just doing nothing, then there was another group watching the MTVs. nice.
then i got really agitated and restless. so i went over to the counter and complained. i said that there were two free lanes and no one was using it. then i requested that we could use that since no one occupied both the lanes for a while. so the attendant agreed. then i started collecting money from everyone. initially there were 12 people who were interested to play. then one backed out. so i was supposed to collect $(11X22) but i kept counting and we were still short of 20 bucks. I got very irritated and thank goodness jiew was there to help (thanks hum maaa) but we still couldn't find out why there was lacking 20 bucks. i even wanted to take out anotehr 20 bucks to cover for the cost first. then some people i can't remember who started asking me silly questions which made me even more irritable. then finally sze min realised that she was supposed to pay 22 bucks instead of 2 bucks =PPP if bowling were so cheap, i would be in the bowling alley almost everyday man!!!
but yeah we got the lanes and we started bowling. it was fun but i feel that the illuminated pins were very decieving. but that was just me i guess. i know oaky charmaine and myself were busy watching the mtvs that were up on the screen. interesting. hope we can play again on saturday or something. i can't wait to get back to spore so i can bowl for better rates.
anyway that was what happened on saturday. and oh! mike was irritating me. i hate to say this but no wonder so many people cant stand him. typical singaporean. seriously!!! he keeps saying "sure fail sure fail" but always scores 80% and above. and when he gets them grades, he would be saying that he shhiould have done better. he mugs day in and out. compares with others and well he just gets on a lot of people's nerves. i think he is going to US for exchange. good riddance.
i'm sorry to be so mean but he was mean to me first. he kept teasing me about my weight on saturday. he first saw me when i was just relaxing with charmaine in the badminton hall. he came down and plopped himself beside me. after talkin for a while, he noticed that i gained weight (but it's natural and happens more to gals) and started teasing me. he kept saying "waaa RENEE ni3 fei2 le4 (ie you put on weight)!! so fat already!!!" then he went on by comparing his arm to mine. he continued by saying that if i'm fat no one would want me. aw come on! hey look at yourself dude!!! you have no bloody girlfriend and u have no bloody right to make comments abiout me like that. i wanted to turn to him and say FUCK OFF LAH. well not say but shout. so i can embarrass him in the hall but why waste my energy on such a pathetic piece of shit? but after that my mood clearly changed and i became in a bad mood. he almost made me cry. if he had continued, i would have burst into tears. hey to gals, i feel that weight can become a very sensitive issue. even if i did gain a phenomenal amount of weight, the least he could do is to be slightly more tactful. fuck. i felt guilty for saying to him in resent "don't get knocked down by a car" when he went off to the uni but hey~
ANYWAY shall not waste my time talking about him.
let's see what happened on sunday. i went to church. then i came home to bake cookies. did a really grave mistake but it still turned out alright so all's well! after baking i went out with a group of my church friends to celebrate my cousin's birthday. we went to crown and chao hui sent me there. the buffet was not too bad but to me 25 bucks was quite a bit of money for high tea. i think it would be 40 bucks for dinner. shall bring the hums there. i love going out with the hums because money (yes is impt but) is kind of secondary because they love paying for good food and service. i like *grin*
let's see, who was there. may, darren, jeremy, shaun, esther, dejun, kailing, joy, pet, chao hui and of course jasmine. after the tea, they went off somewhere while may and myself went to a nice couch and we started chatting. haven't spoken to her for ages! we had a nice time chatting and she kept commenting that her brother is a good catch. haha!
after that we met up with the rest and i went home. after almost 1/2 an hour, i met up with josh and charms. the three of us went to a jazz bar. the music was not bad. the service was not bad. the drinks were good. hahahhaha well for the music, i'm not as passionate about jazz as compared to the two. and i'm not too sure wther it was good like erm musically but in my opinion, it reminded me of the hotels in singapore. and the music had good intonations (dunno how to spell) but guess i was quite sleepy also. not too sure whether the music was the one that made me sleepy or the lack of sleep. charmaine said it was the layout of the place.guess so. the drums was good! if dr ever comes over the melbourne for a hol, i shall bring him there. maybe milton too. if kenneth comes i would bring him there too. just listing a few ppl who can play the drums. anyway the attendant at the bar is very friendly and helpful. she made charms her drink. and asked josh and myself whether we wanted any drinks. josh ordered but i declined the offer. after trying charmaine's drink, i craved for something like that so i went back to the bar and ordered ice chocolate. because she put the tub of ice cream back in the freezer somewhere else, she had to walk back to get it. i felt damn guilty so i told her to forget about it and i was ready to order something else, but she insisted that she was more than willing to make mydrink. she made my day. =) people going the extra mile. how can u find that in singapore. you RARELY find someone like that, RARELY.
we went clubbing after that. the music was good but i kind of miss mambo nite. well that's just me again. charmaine and myself got ourselves a shot of tequila each, downed it and hit the dance floor. josh kept goin from group to group. (ie charms n myself, and another group of friends that he had arragned to meet in the club) but josh can dance =) oh there was this guy who tapped on my shoulder, before i turned i was thinking, YAY! SOMEONE I ACTUALLY KNOW. and was rather disappointed when i saw a stranger. he introduced himself and his friend. and apparently his friend had been wanting to make friends with me the "whole night" (funny when we were there for only what, at the most 1 hour?) wanted to roll my eyes there and then, then that friend asked me whether i heard of the show bend it like beckham. i said yes and he said that he PRODUCED the show. i immediately (i know i was rude here) nodded and continued dancing with charms. HAHAH! stupid drunk people. but i have to admite that friend (i can't remmeber his name) is quite cute.
we danced for a while then charmaine and myself went to the entrance where there were tons of couches and slumped ourselves on one. in frnt of us was this couple who couldn't take their hands off each other. they kept kissing as well (no surprise for me) then charmaine and i started timing the couple and they kissed for about 6 minutes. not bad for two kids.
josh finally came to look for us but he left at the wrong time!!!! when we were leaving this gal was pulling this guy and walking real fast to the corner. she threw her bag down and pushed him to the couch and got on top of him. (at this point of time we had to leave) wa no free show. bleah. betcha this guy got lucky yesterday! hahaha
had supper with josh, charms and his friend nigel. the latter's full of shit but his constant squabbles with charmaine kept me going throughout the whole session. i kept cracking up and laughin! =)))
ANYYYYWAYYYYY went out with may and cousin today. they kept dissuading me from going out with jeremy and i finally relented (i felt sick today anyway, probably because of the lack of sleep and wierd sleepin habit)
went home and finalised my flight details. gave my dentist a call and the conversation went something like this:
RENEE: hello dr gan?
DR: yes?
RENEE: (sounded like he was out so i asked) this is renee , are u out? is it a convenient time for me to talk to you?
DR: (no reply)
RENEE: dr gan??
DR: yes??
RENEE: is there any possiblity that i could change my apt to thursday because something cropped up
DR: (after a lag of a few seconds) i can't really hear you
RENEE: .... (basket) i said, could i change my apt to thursday?
DR: who is this?
RENEE: ... (basket) this is renee.
DR: (after another lag of a few seconds) who?
RENEE: renee... i said could i chnge my apt to thurday instead
DR: i don't have the apt book. i'm driving now and i can't hear you
RENEE: but...
DR: i can't hear you.
RENEE: but...
DR:i can't hear you..
RENEE: ....
DR: call back tomorrow okay
RENEE: but... (before i could say anything)
DR: (puts down the phone)
BAHHHH....my dental apt is tomorrow. i had been tryin to call the stupid clinic for the whole day and no one picked up. it kept diverting to the hp. what a waste of money calling him.
so that was my day. i have to remind myself to call him tomorrow if not i would probably be labelled as "irresponsible".
speaking of irresponsible. i think i really am. janelle asked me to send an email out to the SAM execs reminding them to do their respective tasks. i came home on saturday feeling tired and i completely forgot about yesterday. when i woke up this morning and turned on my computer, i recieved a msg from janelle saying that she had already sent out an email *guilty***
anyway time to call kenneth and sleep. gotta wake up at about 7. i haven't packed yet. argh!
wish upon a star,
RENEE YANG aka RENEE YEONG aka YEONG SEE KAY
renzi kissed and swore @
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Sunday, November 16, 2003
(cont'd....)
I hope the spider dies from lack of oxygen. i closed the bathroom door.
I hope it is still there when i go in to bathe tomorrow.
I hope the spider doesn't lay eggs to many others.
I hope the spider doesn't go into the shower proper.
I hope the spider doesn't crawl out and disappear, because it will definitely FREAK ME OUT!!!
I hope....
Hope upon a star, RENEE YANG...arggghhhh!!!
renzi kissed and swore @
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Dear Diary,
there's this spider in my bathroom. it's huge, hairy and it's scaring the shit out of me!!!!!!!!!!!! help someone!!!!!!!!
that's why i closed the door before me after i bathed. i'd rather let it be in the bathroom. at least i know it's in the bathroom.
but i'm feeling all eeky and itchy. there may be more like that in the house. argh!!!!! i wanna move out this instant!!!
and william has left already! where have all the guys gone?????
renzi kissed and swore @
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Saturday, November 15, 2003
DEar Diary
I'm back at home after a long day. I woke up at around 11 in the morning and couldn't go back to sleep. So i messaged giap and kee and asked them to go to chaddy. Kee politely declined =( so giap and myself went to chaddy to enjoy the cool air con. It was 32 degrees by the way! Kinda worse than singapore in my opinion. Because Singapore still has clouds, and the clouds block out the sun. Only thing about Singapore and probably Malaysia, Thailand etc is that it's more humid but i'm fine with it.
Anyway after walking around and having lunch, we went to Nurul's house and she did my make-up. PLUS she curled my hair! it was SOOOO nice. Shall try to put up a photo once i figure out how to upload a photograph.
Went for the YAA ball. It was kinda boring for the gang because we didn't win anything. But we had fun bitching about other teams. Think we were sore that we didn't win anything. BUt i guess looking back in this whole year, it was fun and well i feel i didn't go much so *sheepish grin*
After the awards, the music started and man! the songs were fabulous! pity i had to leave for another ball- wcf young adults ball. I kinda felt out of place because i haven't been hanging out with many of the church people and i haven't been going for cell group. shall start doing that again next year. no more excuses. =p well was surprised josh was there. he pulled me to the dance floor and we ballroom danced with the rest of them. (there were two instructors teaching the basic ballroom dancing techniques)
May, Felix, Josh and myself headed to St Kilda's but dropped by this bar called the REBAR (stupid name i feel). had about 3,4 shots with May. and well had a nice time just chilling. didn't dance though. but what was funny was that there was this guy and gal who were sitting in front of us. josh said that he reckoned they jus met and well i told the peeps that they would kiss in less than 10 minutes and yeap...they did. hahahaha
and felix and josh noticed that this guy was staring at me. but i reckon he's gay, unless he thinks i'm a guy! *gasp***
one bad habit: i don't bring my ID out. I keep forgetting!!! even in singapore when i go clubbing, i can forget to bring my IC. tsk tsk
Let's see. after that session, we joined my cousin (gasp she's out!), sharon, petrina, darren, joy, and a few others in the st kilda's pier. it wasn't that cold so it was quite an enjoyable time just sitting by the beach.
After that josh sent may and felix home, while we arranged to meet charmaine for breakfast. I wanted to go home to bathe, so well i came home and josh slumped to my floor (because i didn't allow him to lie on my bed because he was smelly from REBAR) and slept. Now charmaine doesn't feel like going out for breakfast after my bath, and her shower as well. and josh is still sleeping. i'm wondering whether i should 1)call kenneth now, because i haven't been talkin to him lately 2) wake josh up and tell him to go home 3)wake josh up and go for breakfast and go without charms (hmm bah charmaine just told me she wanted to stay at home 4) leave josh as he is and go take a nap and wait for him to wake me up so he can go home 5)....go to sleep.
decisions decisions.
shall take a short nap first. i'm feeling so drained and i don't know whether i'm still goiin out with my aunt tomorrow. If so i shall buy flour so i can bake tomorrow.
plans for tomorrow: bake in the afternoon, play badminton
plans for sunday: go to church, go out with jas my cousin to celebrate her birthday, go out with charms and josh
plans for monday: go out with may, and probably cousin then meet jeremy for dinner
plans for tues: wilson's prom
plans for wed: wilson's prom and YAA meeting
plans for thursday: dental apt if possible and shop??
yeap. that's it for now. argh! i shall not wake josh up and let him sleep. kenneth's pissed. argh
Wish upon a star,
ReneE YanG
renzi kissed and swore @
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Friday, November 14, 2003
Dear Diary,
I just got home. Josh sent me home from Charmaine's place. Yesterday i was just slacking on my bed using my laptop when charmaine icq-ed me and said Danny's on his way to my place. And yeah~ he really did drive Josh's car to my place. I hopped into the car and went to charmaine's place.
I found Josh, CHarmaine in her place and we had quite a nice time talking cock. And we all decided to stay over. I couldn't sleep until 6am when Josh said he wanted to go home. So i shared the bed with charmaine while danny slept on the chair. After a while, he went back to his own flat. Kept waking up after that but yeah, had quite a good rest nonetheless. Don't know why.
Josh came back to get his watch at about 9am? Then i called Danny (once josh and danny went out) and asked him whether Josh could send me home. They had to run errands first, so i went back to sleep. At around 11.30, they called me and i went home.
So now here i AM....doing nothing now. Bah!
Anyway i just calculated how much i spent this semester so far,.....3500 bucks! Just last week alone, i spent 650 bucks! wtf!!?!!
And i shall cut down on shopping from now, till i get back to singapore.
Shall stop for now. FIgure out what to do before i meet nurul. Nurul is giap's good friend and she is just this super friendly and eloquent gal from malaysia. She was advising what i should do today with my make up etc. And she offered to do make up for me. Well shall learn some from her. I will need it when i grow up, oh well go out to work in the future.
Laters~~
Wish upon a star,
REneE YanG
renzi kissed and swore @
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Thursday, November 13, 2003
Dear Diary,
the exams are over but I don't seem to feel happy. Maybe i'm only relieved but happy?
Well i'm lying on my bed and typing my entry. Thought i was supposed to be out bad-hopping, what happened to that idea?? Nothing seemed to have changed after the exam. More time granted i suppose. I just packed two bags of miscel items. These two bags would definitely be staying in aussie for the summer. I realised i bought so many things since i came here. And it's less than 1 year! gosh! i can't imagine the situation after 3 years.
and i just looked at my new clothes. feeling guilty i tell you. But no more shopping for now, till i get back money that i lent.
went to chaddy and got make-up from body shop. spent about 80 bucks! why is make up so damn expensive? and what so good about make-up? i prefer girls, and more so guys, to look natural. i always feel make up clogs up the face.
anyway i walked around chaddy with charms and ryan. they patiently waited for me while the assistent in body shop applied make-up for me. and after that i stupidly said "i'll take this,this and that". four freaggin items cost me 80 buckss!!!! wtf!!!?!? well as some people would say, make up is an investment, we shall see about that.
after that, we continued walking around. met byron, went to coffee bean. sat there for about an hour, then i went over to giap's place. chee mun cooked pasta. we were celebrating shaliza's birthday. speaking of shaliza, she's going back to malaysia tomorrow. one less person to shop with. good or bad? hmmm
after dinner, we went to the glen to grab the usual bubble tea but it was closed!! so waited for mandy (giap's cuz) then i went home. so now here i am.
---
is there such a thing as a platonic relationship? i really wonder. so many people keep telling me it's impossible but i feel it is possible. however i do have experiences where, well, my friendship with individual guys turned kinda different. people like izzy, aik ming, wee... hmm the gals in wcf especially cousin (ppl call her cousin...her name's joanna) and may. They seem to feel very strongly that it is almost impossible for two people of the opposite sex to 1)go out alone 2)be very very close friends.
Hmmm speaking of izzy. i miss talking to him. I still remember getting interviewed by him. At that point of time, karen and myself applied for being a barister in starbucks. during the interview izzy would deviate and start talkin about his experiences and jobs that he's taken up. It was really interesting. Up till now he would tell me stories and i would always be intriged by them. well he's a charmer i must say. too much to say in one entry...shall write about him soon.
shall go on to friendster.com for now. i have a couple of msgs that i've yet to reply because of my exams.
i will continue soon.
Wish upon a star,
RenEe YanG
renzi kissed and swore @
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Dear Diary,
I just got back from a little bit of running, jogging and tae-bo. I feel so much better. Speaking of running, i am wondering how come kenneth doesn't run anymore. Shall bug him to soon. If not he'll gain as much weight as me, which is NOT GOOD.
Well i took a shower and charmaine called. We're going to chaddy soon. After writing this entry i shall attempt to walk in the smoldering sun. It's getting hot. I'm not too sure whether it's good or bad that the weather's getting more hot. I shall conclude that it's good because i'm even looking forward to the weather back home in Singapore. So well *shrug* The melbourne weather is just a prelude to singapore's weather.
I went blog surfing again. It has become pretty much a habit. (glad i resisted the temptation to actually not read any entries before my exam. i'm proud of myself. yes yes, i have to bring up such a small matter but hey! as the chinese saying goes JI4 SHAO3 CHENG2 DUO1...) And as i was saying, blogs...hmmm... lately the word, LOVE has been popping up in front of me one two many times. Well Love is such a vague and yet strong word. It can mean so much to someone, and yet love means nothing to another. I shall think about it again today when i'm walking around in chaddy.
Hmm I can't help but feel helpless sometimes, when i look at my friends who are in trouble. I know i can't help or put my finger into the matter because it's kind of none of my business, especially if the problem lies with the friend and another person. All i can do i pray i guess.
I am getting very flushed, thanks to the weather. I have to drink more water. Shall do that later.
Someone did mention to me recently that everything's very unfair to him/her. Well all i have to say for now is, everything may seem unfair but look on the bright side. Everyone faces days like that, and times when you feel that nothing's going right. Well as one blog goes, if all else fails, pray. Well I can vouch that prayer helps. WEll to me that is. It may be psychological to some but i believe that prayer does play an important part.
Okay time to walk slowly to Charms' place. It's hot out there! Argh! Oh well thank God anyway! =)
AND thank God that my exams are over...WHOO!
Renee Yang
renzi kissed and swore @
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Dear Diary
I just got back my assignments for Psychology and it doesn't look good for me at all. I'm starting to think I am actually going to do so badly, really badly for my subject this semester. For Psychology, i failed 3 out of 3 assignments! wtf! I did put in quite a bit of effort for my report but hey my efforts don't equate nicely to my results. And when i look at my other subjects, which i didn't put in any effort at all, like media studies, i get a HD!~!!?!? What an irony i must say.
Let's see. I got a 4.5/10 for my poster, 6.75/15 for my Report, 7.35/15 for my RDA, maybe a 5/10 for interlearn. And i have to say, i didn't know how to do a couple of my MCQs. I still need to get 51 out of 93 questions correct before i PASS my psychology! help! i need a miraclE!!!!!!
Argh! Shall go jog or swim now. before i meet the rest to go to Chaddy.
Renee Yang
renzi kissed and swore @
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Dear Diary
I kept waking up by the hour. I was supposed to study at about 4 but i only managed to get out of bed at 6.30.
We shall see how badly I do this time round.
I am having the exam blues. I just can't wait to get this over and done with and I'm free!!! For the time being that is. But it's better than nothing.
15 more minutes before Giap picks me up. I shall do my last revision and sleep in the car later.
All the best to myself! I really need it!
I shall talk about Christina and my dream later.
Renee Yang
renzi kissed and swore @
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Wednesday, November 12, 2003
Dear Diary
I'm so going to do badly for this paper. argh!
Renee Yang
renzi kissed and swore @
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Dear DIary,
I don't understand so many terms wtf looks like i'm going to do so badly for it. AIKS!!!
you can't blame anyone by yourself.
sigh...
I'm really not in the mood to study now.
VERY VERY distracted. and i'm tired.
maybe i should go for a run. should i??
FRom Renee Yang
renzi kissed and swore @
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Dear Diary,
so many people know my blog address, but well i think it's my fault for letting anyone know my blog address. or is it not?
well i'm in kee's house now. he's taking a shower and i just read his blog. very very vague but then again anything goes in this world. i'm so nonchalent about so many things. i'm just so hardened to a lot around me. the pain, the suffering, everything.
oh well
From Renee Yang
renzi kissed and swore @
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i'm feeling very lazy... drained.... tired....kept waking up last night....slept at about 2 with the intention of taking a short nap before i continued studyin...giap gave me a 'morning' call but i dozed off right after i put down the phone...kept waking up in between...every hour i suppose...arggh...i need sleeppppppp
anyway i wanna put photos in my bloggg..... =(((
renzi kissed and swore @
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funny.. =) this was sent by sharon..hehe
WORDS WOMEN USE
>******************************
>FINE
>This is the word women use to end an argument
>when they feel they are right and you need to
>shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a
>woman looks-this will cause you to have one of
>those arguments.
>
>FIVE MINUTES
>This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the
>five minutes that your football game is going to
>last before you take out the trash, so it's an
>even trade.
>
>NOTHING
>This means "something," and you should be on your
>toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the
>feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside
>out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing"
>usually signifies an argument that will last
>"Five Minutes" and end with "Fine,"
>
>GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows! )
>This is a dare. One that will result in a woman
>getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with
>the word "Fine".
>
>GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)
>This means "I give up" or "do what you want
>because I don't care" You will get a "Raised
>Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed
>by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you
>in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.
>
>GO AHEAD!
>At some point in the near future, you are going
>to be in some mighty big trouble.
>
>LOUD SIGH
>This is not actually a word, but is a nonverbal
>statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud
>Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that
>moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time
>standing here and arguing with you over
>"Nothing".
>
>SOFT SIGH
>Again, not a word, but a nonverbal statement.
>"Soft Sighs" mean that she is content . Your best
>bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay
>content.
>
>THAT'S OKAY
>This is one of the most dangerous statements that
>a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means
>that she wants to think long and hard before
>paying you back for whatever it is that you have
>done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word
>"Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised
>Eyebrow."
>
>PLEASE DO
>This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman
>is giving you the chance to come up with whatever
>excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it
>is that you have done. You have a fair chance
>with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't
>get a "That's Okay".
>
>THANKS
>A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say
>you're welcome.
>
>THANKS A LOT
>This is much different from "Than ks." A woman
>will say, "Thanks A Lot"
>when she is really ticked off at you. It
>signifies that you have offended her in some
>callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud
>Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after
>the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you
>"Nothing".
renzi kissed and swore @
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hungryy...just did bout 3 hours of studying...hahah =))) not bad not bad....anyway going to slack for a while....i need it... =)))
hmm my mind's blank now now...hungry lahh..maybe i'll go back and eat....hmmm see how lahhh.....
i can't tink of anything now...
renzi kissed and swore @
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Tuesday, November 11, 2003
i miss those chinese wedding dinners.....typically called XI JIU... heheh =)) i miss eating sharks fins...yummmm yes yes animal killer...shall talk about my pets after my exams *evil grin*
yeah as i was saying..i miss XI2 JIU3 sighh... so much food... yummm
i miss my mum's nasi lemak chilli sauce..yummmm
tink i'm talkin about food now because yeah...i jus had a fruit bar for dinner...skipped dinner because i slept through it... dun tink i wanna eat already lah... maybe shall bug giap to go out to buy bubble tea...hmmm IDEA~~~
hahah byron caught me online and yes i will study soon...just slacking for a while more...ahha think i slept for around 3 hours...wow.... tink my body's telling me..RENEE RESTTT...ye syes after the exams i will have a good time snuggling under the covers of my bed...
hmmm i'm feeling hungry again...stupid fruit bar....
dun wanna walk down also...very darkkk.... william didn't change the bulb ....for the corridoor...and the living room...creepyyyyy
well... shall go down later i guess....i shall start studyin at 10.....fr now..hehehhe now for some light bulb jokes..heheh wanted to find those JC lightbulb jokes but too much time to search for them over the net... well here goes...
How many first year engineering students does it take to change a light bulb? None. That's a second year subject.
How many second year engineering students does it take to change a light bulb? One, but the rest of the class copies the report.
How many third year engineering students does it take to change a light bulb? "Will this question be on the final exam?"
How many civil engineers does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to do it and one to steady the chandelier.
How many electrical engineers does it take to change a light bulb? None. They simply redefine darkness as the industry standard.
How many computer engineers does it take to change a light bulb? "Why bother? The socket will be obsolete in six months anyway."
How many mechanical engineers does it take to change a light bulb? Five. One to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, one to calculate the force required, one to design a tool with which to turn the bulb, one to design a comfortable-but functional- hand grip, and one to use all this equipment.
How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb? Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one.
---
well this was taken from a singpore website
hmmm anywayyy...
check this out.... see whether this appears...hmmm
ok time to study!!
renzi kissed and swore @
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tsk tsk..i'm back again..bleah.....feeling tired...hehe i noe psychologically (HA! i'm having my psych exam on thurs...ANYYWAYY) i'm jus tellin myself that i'm tire.d..but oh well...
did some reading for an hour or so, then walked to danny's desk...he wasn't really concentrating so we deicded to go down to the computers...hehehe
hmmm read byron's blog on friends....and i quote(in bold)
so why byron why? whys it tough being or 'trying to be' my fren? hmm, prolly bcos i m a tough critic even on myself n never easy to please. tt means i hold my frens to high standards n sometimes unreasonably so. no doubt tts a very unrealistic stand but i think of it tis way:
if i can help some1 be better, why not?
well it's good to hold your friends in high stds but i gues...well..hahah another matter to tink about is...can they live up to it? it's quite hard aint it? it's almost like setting a std for frends.... aren't we supposed to accept our friends for who they are? after all....we are only human =)))
but yes...i do agree...if u can help some1 to be better...by all means...but some traits just can't be changed overnight...or even changed... well i've tried to help a couple of my friends from not smoking but i got scolded for that...once...well i mean that is a bad habit...and i noe it can be changed...
like i said in my previous blog (some time back) well there's only this much you can do...
and sometimes i feel you need to let your friends sink a little before pulling them up...well they should learn and well jus like school...you can't keep helping them by telling them this and that... well yeah... like wat i told my mum sometimes i need to learn myself... =)))
if he/she cant take it, so be it. they r, at e end of e day, only accountable to themselves n obviously not to me.
agreed... especially the last bit...
if he/she dun wanna associate wif me anymore, so be it.
wa so fierce onezzzz
i did wat i tink was right.
wat happens if what u tink was right was erm...wrong? or maybe another method or way is better? this is very subjective and u can't see it in a very objectivie manner...
if it doesnt work out well, i'd accept tt as failure on my part but i'll move on.
waaa.... hmmm well u can't accept that as failure....i mean failure is a very strong word....doesn't mean that if the person doesn't change u have failed as a friend.... well i see myself being a friend in part of a person's life at that pt of time...and well each step or transition a person goes into, a friend (not necessarily me) may help him or her...but yes again...i say...it's a process not an overnight thing...(and this changing process is a trait that can be changed and it probably benifits everyone especially that particular individual)
hopefully sometime in e future they'd realise i was just trying to help.
well that's a very strong statement... sounds like u're tryin to be superman... =)))
tt is also why if i hv something in my mind, i'll say it - no holds barred. but if i c it as "wat i say wun help either", then i prolly wont inflame e situation any further.
truth is tough to accept. u may not like wat i hv to say, but nonetheless i'll still say it rather than keeping quiet. if u dun tell me e truth, i'll never noe thus i'll never chg.
true true.... but yeah like what u said later...maybe the right time would be best...but as like wat u stated earlier again...it is very grey...i agree... however some ppl may not adopt you tink...wat i'm tryin to say is...each person has his or her preference...maybe work around his/her personality when you bring across a point?
and why do u need to noe everything? i mean why change everytime someones says something? i mean that's what i got from what u said about "i'll never noe thus i'll never chg." i noe u'll say something like u'll assess what the person told ya but still...i can't change whenever someone tells me something what......hmmm u are unique jus like everyone else...u don't have to change whenever because you are you... =)))
a true fren tells u wat they tink no matter how bad it is. of course u hv to be tactful abt it lah! so if u wan yr fren to be a better person, speak out! yes, truth hurts but would u rather hv it any other way?
i've said my peace for that one already.... well yeah..heheh
---
feeling feverish again..hmm hahahah it's psychological...but hmmm going home to take a quick nap probably and continue with my studies.... =)))
hope i made sense in what i said just now...well byron don't take anything to heart.. =)) just my 10 cents worth hehe
okok....shall go off...
before that...YAY!!! i got my geocities up and running...very soon i can upload photos into blogger..whooopieeee!!
den i show off photos...of my friends =)))
hai~~ time to head on back to camp...ARGHH...too much survivor....yeapp..time to go back home...take a quick shower and sleep for a while... =)))
renzi kissed and swore @
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hai~~ everyone wakes up so late....and those who are always up during the day seldom write their blogs...no more entertainment for now...siann...sigh...have to study..arggh stats!!!!!!!
renzi kissed and swore @
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grrrr....guess wat?? i didn't bring my pencil case to the library...smartt....bahhh...
did some reading for an hour or so and now using the computer for a while because pet's going out and i needed to talk to her about my cousin's birthday...her birthday's tomorrow...wanted to like surprise her at night but yeah like what pet said, my aunt and uncle may not be appreciative about it..yeah guess so...that's why i love staying by myself...no parents...whoo...but then again..they are very strict....hmm glad i'm not stayin with them...i'll be so repressed....*shudder*
ohoh...did the test byron put up...hmmm
What's Your Romantic Personality?
The Thoughtful Romantic
The brand of romance that you subscribe to is considerate and intimate. You possess a great deal of emotional intelligence. The times at which you feel most romantic include deep personal discussions with your partner. Intellectual intimacy is what it's all about for you. You're very aware of and in touch with your partner's thoughts and feelings, and you're touched when they respond to you in the same way.
--
hmmm want to say alot again...but hmm...it's time to go back to study...maybe i'll go back home because i don't have any pencils highlighters.....aikzzz..!!!
shall go to the west reading room to see whether i can borrow something from someone... =))
RENEE 1 MORE DAY TO GO...!!! STUDY RENEE!!!!
renzi kissed and swore @
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i'm back in the library...feeling guilty for not studyin...but good half of the day nonetheless... after typing in my blog i went to the campus centre to buy a pen...den i headed back to the library only to find alvina and danny walkin out of the library...went back to the campus centre and had lunch...talked about quite a bit of thigns...heheh....
den sharon and josh came to meet us den we went to the den for lunch (sharon and alvina's lunch that is) and yeah...after tat we jus sat and talked for almost an hour.... hahah nice.... =)))
we talked about relationships and stuff...hmmm somehow when u come together with a group and start talking about relationships and issues (regarding r/s) you'll never be able to stop..hahahah
annywayyy...going off to study soon..getting sleepy...maybe i'll take a nap before i start erm..studying again...think i scared danny when i told him the psych exam is worth 50% ... well i tink it's worth 50% or either that 40%....he's checking now...so we shall see later...
hmmm my teeth hurttttt =((( can't imagine the next time when i tighten my braces....arggh..short term pain equals long term gain...arggghhh
RENEE >>>>>>>STUDY RENEE!!!!!
renzi kissed and swore @
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Monday, November 10, 2003
hmm going off to dreamland soon...today just basically did some studying....in the evening i went out with jiew, byron and charms for dinner...
watched survivor...
studied again...going to do stats tomorrow...nightmare man...sighh
feeling really tired now....so well yeap...shall call kenneth before i doze off to neverland =)))
tomorrow's a day to study again...sianzzz
2 MORE DAYS TO GO!!! STUDY RENEE!!!
btw: just read my first entry in my blog....hahah well wrote down why i dun like ppl touching my nose... so well read it if u wan to be entertained....
renzi kissed and swore @
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did alittle mre studyin...hmm going back home soon.....
tired...need to do a few more chapters before i start on stats tomorrow..argghh..nightmareee!!!!
renzi kissed and swore @
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hmm using another computer now...jus have no mood to study...danny called and asked whether i wanted to go to boxhill but hmm better not lah....if i stay in library...chances are i would start studyin...finished writing notes for abnormal psychology...mann...
goin to do one chapter...and i'm done for today... =)
when i left the house i saw 3 spiders in the living room *SHUDDDERRRR*** i hate hate hate hate hate spiders...
hungryy....
hmmmm still tinking of going out ...wa laooo....so many ppl finished their exams liaozzz...sighh.... den danny's out...he never study and still get results...sighh....but i guess he does consistent work...well i would say he's at least more consistent than me...
hate exams hate exams...i do shit for exams...
hai~ giap said " aiyah.. you better study oh
take a break if really sian
then get back to study
you dont have much time left, three days more only
and one last paper.. just struggle for another three days loh"...guess so.....argghh....
arggghh!!!!
top 10 list of what renee hates (in random order)
1) her birthday: i just hate it...hate it!!!
2) being ignored : hahah sometimes i just feel like i'm being ignored by everyone..yes i'm being oversensitive...but sometimes it happens *shrug*
3) spiders : i hate spiders!!! just hate it!!! their creepy and YUCKKKKKKK..........just imagine walking into a spider web...a web already makes me feel eeky all over...yukc yuckkkkk
4) exams : ahahha i just would prefer to do work...too much stress at one go i guess
5) insects : also makes me feel eeky
6) being at home : i'd rather be out than coope myself at home...unless i'm really not in the mood, then i'll blast music and sleepp....
7) not being taken seriously all the time : hmmm yeap
8) being so full and can't puke =p : esp when i was younger, i would always have loads to eat and have no control...would eat and eat....and i would always feel the food is up to like my throat...yuckk...den well it would be a waste to puke everything out rite?
9) ...i can't tink of anything else....hahhahah severely loud, attention seeking people?
10) having too much of anything : ever heard of overload?? yeapp...
hmmmm my face is flushed again....dunno why...hai~
ohh heheh i washed my face with milk again...bahhh..stupid me.... i looked at the expiry date 11th November...but i tot 11th november was long time over...so brought the bottle up to the toilet to wash my face..argghhh
hmm going for the YAA ball this friday...mann.......lazy to dress up...i really hate wearing make-up...hate wearing heels...hate being SOOO feminine..... hahah i would probably have to like do that when i grow up...like start working...and i would have the whole of my lifetime to put on make up etc...dun really intend to start now...yes yes...lazy....yes yes can't be bothrede....but i prefer to look natural wat...bleah! maybe it's jus me....but yeahh i noe i have to learn.... unfairrr...why do gals have to dress up more than guys ....i also wanna like wear a shirt and pair of pants and go to work everyday....hmm did this in sociology as well...bleah....
was in the car and bryan expressed his worry for coming back to spore...well guess he's so used to life in aussie...and he thoroughly enjoys it in aussie...going back to spore...would prolly mean 1)lack of freedom 2)being under the 'tyranny' of his parents 3)a whole new diff environment (in terms of weather, and well how singpore has changed) 4) he has to catch up with a lot of his frens... tat's good but guess u haven't seen frens back home for so long..it would be diffrent....maybe even awkward??
den charms said she wouldn't wanna go back early...i guess for myself, if i am not attached to kenneth, i would be like I DoN'T wAnNA gO hOmE so EaRLyYYYYyy...hahah but i do miss my best friend, karen...miss her tons.....miss jean, my closest church friend, neighbour, childhood fren.... hai~~ but yeah....i'm quite glad i'm going back slightly later....
maybe next year at this time i wanna go to another country to work for the summer....
hmm i really wanna travel around the world...work for a while...make new friends, then work in another country...make new friends.... but i guess that can be pretty tiring...hmmm take it from izzy...hmmm shall talk about him soon....
arghh...time to sudy soon...shall prolly grab something to eat...
renzi kissed and swore @
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hahaha my mum just sent me an email....
Hi
How was your weekend, preparing for yr last paper ?
hahahahahha....weekend was super unproductive...i've lost motivation to study for the last pper..hhhahah...sighh..bad bad....
We were in J.B. for a durian trip, joined the RC in West Coast,
in a coach of 40 people. Aunty Laura and group, Jason & brother
& Andrea also joined.
hmm.... durians....hmmm make ur breath, ur fart...EVERYTHING STINKS!!! who's aunty laura and group?? who's jason? the ah beng jason? hmm
We had durian for lunch, and later shopping at Giant, but
after going to China, the things in Malaysia could not compare
any more, they are also selling China goods.
hahahah could not compare anymore??? i also wanna go to malaysia to shopppp....i wanna go to china!!!! shall bug my parents to bring me to china and hong kong next year or something....then i can go crazy shopping BWAHAHAH *evil laughter*
Like before, we bought BATA school shoes.
this sooooo reminds me of danny because he always tells me "slap you with bata slippers" and yess i tink he has one pair of bata slippers..hahahaha...tsk tsk...
p.s. this time, Ah Chiew & wife also joined
(Rosy brought them along)
who the hell's ah chiew?? sneezy??
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okayy talking crap there...anyway in the library now...i really damn sian...dun feel like studyin.....sighh...
got quite a bit on my mind again...sigh..
hmmm....bryan's going off to spore already....hmm one less person to go out with now....well guess i've to wait till i get back...
shall go change computers first...can't access ICQ
renzi kissed and swore @
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it's almost 1 in the morning...the humz (minus CH n myself n HUMma) are playing pool...never my cup of tea...hate playing pool because i'm not good at it!! hahaha well kinda played in AC quite a bit...especially after slacking the whole day away =) i remember playing pool with drew, nic and dom..hahah still recalled drew and his bull hahaha =))) those were the days...i still remember 'studying' in the library...den i would get restless and start looking for people to talk to... drew would always be in the library mugging...by 8pm, we would plop ourselves on a table, yes ON a table...and start talking about the past, present and future... i miss drew... =)) andrew's like in the army...playing rugby for spore i tink...i shall call him when i get back...
when i tink of drew i tink of ren ren...(aka rencong) hahah it's really funny and even i would say God-sent to meet him...shall talk about him some other time...
really tired now...dunno whether kenneth's ignoring me or wat...haven't really been talkin to him these few days... i've always been out and when i get back i either doze off before he calls or comes home, OR i'll talk to him for less den 15 minutes and say that i'm tired...sighh...sorry dear... =(( well all i can say is ...gues i'll make it up when i get back?
hmmm danny has a blog now...wheee..shall add him as well..damn funny....waaaa singing praises of sharon *evil grin* hey!! well she's not married yet wat *wink* alls fair when love at war? heheh but well if i were to compare the two gals...tink alvina suits him more... =)))
hmm too lazy to elaborate anything today...
went to church in the morning....very good sermon today..shall go buy the tape next week..
den went to tung woo for lunch with yvonne, jackie and giap...
yvonne's going home today...lucky her...sigh...i wanna go back
jackie...has one more ppr...but doesn't seem like it...hahah we're like slacking man...tsk tsk...tink she ends on friday...
giap was stoned...he has been studying quite hard...good good.... but he didn't finish the food that i dumped on his plate....tsk tsk...
hmmm den the guys went for bubble tea...i didn't buy anything...not in the bubble tea mood
den went home to settle my enrolment......next year, i have 2 exams for the first semester.....i tink 1 on the 2nd...whee!! strategic move on my part because i need to cope with well MUISS,SAM and my studies...should be able to make it =)))
hmmm talked to dom, ren ren online...den had to go off to have dinner ....had WONG KUM crabs, WONG KUM chicken, scallops....(YUMM) and spinach with scallops....mannn......paid about 20 for dinner....
hmm tat's abt it....was kinda dragged to play pool after that......suck at it...i'm worse than so many of my frens...cannot make it!
u noe wat can't make it as well?? my tummy...it's getting bigger....must do sit ups liaozzz...sighhhh... i feel like a pregnant woman...bahhh
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went out with a couple of ppl to airstream after dinner at wa kee....i've settled all my cravings already....now i'm in the no appetite mode again...sigh...arggh...hate my eating habits...
ppl who went to
-wa kee:edmund, zac, CH, byron, charms, yvonne, ling, geoffrey, oaky, gerard, jackie and kee
-airstream: ed mund, zac, CH, byron, charms, yvonne, oaky gerard, jackie, kee, ryan...hum parents...
yeap yeap...tat's it for now...damn guilty for doing shit this week end....no need to sleep these few days liaozzz..
hai~
need to send bryan off as well...sighh...no more HUMpa...but will see him in spore...but tat would be diff altogether already...but intend to like make fullerton a weekly or fortnightly event for the Hums and Des... =)))
hmmm okok..tired...if kenneth doesn't reply by now will go to sleep
renzi kissed and swore @
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Sunday, November 09, 2003
arghhhh....arghhh! arghhhhhhh!!!! i finally got myself to vacumn the damn room...and guess how many spiders i managed to suck in....??!? 5!!!! yuck yuck yuck yuck!!!! arggghhhh!!!!!!!!!!!! yuckkkk!!!!! i'm very disgusted with myself...arggh...i hate spiders!! yuckkkk!!! argghhh!!!!!!!! now there is this irrational fear that the spiders would take revenge on me...i hate spiders!!! i wanna get out of the house!! argghhh....
renzi kissed and swore @
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Saturday, November 08, 2003
hmm just went for a jog..and swim..bwahhahaha....i asked kee to come running with me...after that he went home and i went for a swim.... =) feeling better now..hehe
while i was swimming...dunno just started praying (in my heart) for some people...prayed for my family...thanked God for mother...heheh although she's sometimes a pain but hey aren't i as well sometimes? yeap....thanked God for dad... prayed for Ray that he wouldn't be that naughty..hehe prayed that my parents would stop making him eat medicine... =p
prayed for kenneth...that he would be on fire for God again....somehow... =(( i see him losing it month after month....and i can't do much but pray for him =((( i prayed for myself that i could be like a shining light ..and set an example??! dunno whether tt made sense...
prayed for rencong...loads goin on in his life now... he's like my special buddy ... and yeah... i prayed for his family and his mum espeically...sigh...yeap...
prayed for karen....that she would have peace of mind even as she's studies....
prayed for the humz...
prayed for kee...that he would be more happy... and i prayed that he would be able to see God in me =))) and find joy in the knowing that well God loves him =))
prayed for myself that i could be more patient to my friends and family....alot more lah...hey 40 minutes of swimming ...can pray loads man...hehe
yeap yeap....ran and walked back then i saw sonia (a guy...my ex housemate's good friend) shall talk about him later...need to wait for byron to come pick me up...going for dinner at wa kee finally... hmmm yeap...he was going to watch a rugby match...quite a nice quick chat with him... and he's also finishing his exams on thurs....
hmmm opened the door and saw william..chatted with him as well..he's moving out...and he asked me whether i wanted to like stay with him irwin and irwin's gf next year...hmmm somehting to tink about...i mean there are pros and cons staying with friends and ppl like william...i mean i'm very very different when it comes to stayin with other ppl...1)i treat my house like a hotel... 2)i kinda treat like my housemates like strangers...only talking when necessary... 3) i yeah...almost the same as the 2nd...i shut myself out from my housemates...dunno y....
decisions decisions....shall list down pros and cons later....now..i've gotta prepare.....
renzi kissed and swore @
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ALERT ALERT......!!!!! i can't fit into my jeansss!!!! argh
renzi kissed and swore @
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hmmm hai~~ just noticed in the side view mirror that i've gained weight...again =(((
hmmm i noe it's not a big deal but hey i'm goin back to spore...and wa laozzz....u should see the gals in spore...their waist lines are half of mine or something...phuuii...~~
hahah well had lunch with janelle, ryan, danny, alvina, sharon, and josh... went to the glen and DIAN CHAI...hahah.. =)
den we headed down to have bubble tea. the couple and josh had to go...so we headed off to clayton to look at agents...look for angents ...agents for a nice house =)
hmmm yeap...tat was my day.... for now...my stomach still feels wierd...dunno...
the guys came to my house for a visit and they exclaimed that i looked (danny especially) fatter now...sigh...it's a bad sign..hahah oh well everyone gains weight in aussie...right??
renzi kissed and swore @
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arghhh...there are bugs in my room....!!!!!!!maybe spiders!! arggghhhhhh
renzi kissed and swore @
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let's seee....
i finished my ppr on thurs about almost 45 minutes early and HA! when i walked out i saw danny....apparently he finished the pper in 1/2 an hour....stupid fool...told me he didn't study...but he found the ppr okay! ?!?!? **##(&^$^ hahahah
for me the ppr was easy AT FIRST....den the subsequent two topics became slightly more challanging....ahha oops... and after each section of the MCQ ppr, i dozed off...was really tired.... the examiner had to wake me up to find out whether i was okayy..
hmmm tat was that...den in the evening went out with the SAM execs (excl. paul) ...quite a good day =) we went for dinner in the city....they had a feast...i had not much of an appetite because i spoilt it when i was going home that day (had a nice erm...kabab?? and my usual bar of chocolate)...so i had like beancurd...hahah it was cold....tastes funny.... maybe because it's cold.... but isn't beancurd supposed to be served hot? oh well *shrug* had a bubble tea also. had a really good conversation with a few of the ambassadors... =) oh yeah..forgot to mention, we met a bunch of ambassadors from singapore doing some sort of attachment.... really nice to talk to stacey the lawyer....she's so down-to-earth, and she looks so young...yes no link..but yeah... mannn.... stacey's from RJC...then seh went on doing law in NUS...mannn.....
andrew is a designer...the gals say he's cute...hmmm okayz lah...he owns a company of his own and he designs furniture...hmmm shall ask him to design my future house's furniture..bwahhahah.... well very nice guy... (actually the peeps we met were ALL very very nice people) and very sociable i must add... very successful too...27 and he has a company?? &(*$#**($ he was sitting in our car and we (alvina, sharon, danny) were having fun talkin to him.... and he doesn't really act 27 in front of us.... he's like one of us..bahahahah... anyway found out that he's from SAS... =)
michael, doing marketing. looks super TUT with his army looking specs...but very nice guy. when i first talked to him he didn't seem like the sort who spoke chinese and i knew he was definitely from a all-guys school...fair enough... he is from maris stella (did i spell that right?) hahahah quite a serious dude but can talk quite a bit....reminds me of my dad dunno why...hehe dances funny.... but very very gentlemmanly....alvina says he's a typical perranakan (bahhh..dunno how to spell) yeah...guess so....
jun.....she's doing erm..can't remember...but didn't talk to her that much..think she loves dancing because she was the first to groove to the dancefloor... erm...she dances like a typical ZOUKer... hehe
hmmm....those were the ambassadors if i'm not wrong...
we had DADA JIE>.... sharon.... she, like danny, makes u feel like u're in spore....hahaha didn't have much to talk to her about and yeah..no opportunity to talk to her as well...because she's always talking... =) hahahh another very sociable one in the group....
there were friends in the group....another michael.... born in the US....went to shanghai to teach....very nice guy....
sheyanne... from JB...workin for a while in australia....
hmmm did i miss out anywan?? hmmm well after dinner we headed off to st kilda's beach...wanted to have dessert..but i think we were quite late... so walked along the beach.... it was coldddddddd....but nice walk nonetheless... =) it's quite a sight to see people of my age, hanging out with people who are so successful and equally humble...hehehe....there was nothing for us in st kilda's so we ended off in some pub...took sooo many photos...and danced a little....
den they wanted to make a move...so they passed us their namecards and we said our goodbyes...
hmmm dennn.... we drove to EVOLUTION...danny then got off the car and went to josh's car and asked what were the plans.... then danny came back and said...OI YOU GUYS DECIDE!! hmm den we were tinkin janelle wasn't too keen and alvina was not feeling too well so we decided to head back to clayton. josh and danny fetched janelle and alvina respectively, then we bought supper (well i bought dinner) and went to charmaine's place to play monopoly...
we had quite a nice time playing...charmaine and i kept winning...the guys were complaining we cheated...hey~ we didn't cheat ya....this is monopoly... =) haha well sharon's bf called and he said he wouldn't sleep till he came home...hmm possessive dude.... but oh well...so we said better have a good sleep for the next day...so we went home...i did my laundry....and called kenneth....was very very grumpy for some reason or other...prolly ebcause i was very tired.... sorry dearrr... =(( after a while i suggested we put down the phone so yeah...dived into really good slepp...
den the next morning danny called... (tt was my morning call) and we arranged to meet at about 11.30.... i put my clothes out to dry, took a nice warm shower...and went online...den he asked me to call charms...i called her but i couldn't get her....bahh....so i asked sharon to call her room....she, likewise couldn't get her...then sharon suggested calling her at the same time...we did that but to no avail...den it was time already....danny picked me up....and we picked up the gals (sharon and alvina) and headed back to SEF.... we met josh there and the guys weent down to go look for charms... after a while, danny asked us to get out of the car and go to his flat first....charms just woke up then.... hmm haha apparently after danny gave her a morning call, she plugged out the line... hmmm so we went to danny's place had a quick chat den walked up to charms flat. waited a while more before we headed to the city. danny asked me to drive because he was very tired...so yeap...drove the car to the city with sharon and danny in my car. =)
went to smith street..and bought stuff....bleah.....den went to bridge road?? hmmm yeap.....after that we drove to have ice cream at the usual place in lygon..yumssss..... because i was driving and couldn't eat, danny suggested i drive to the nearrest spot and park there for a while..i took a left and parked. we had our ice cream and ....we were freezing at the same time..stupid breeze.... hahha danny and sharon can eat their ice creams properly..charmaine and alvina cannot make it... hahahah it was a nice time just laughin at each other... den we went to st kilda's to wait for josh... (he went back to fetch someone...) had dinner at the really nice place called GOA....the boss was so friendly to everyone.... just thought that if we brought byron there he would enjoy talkin to that dude...well the lay out of the restaurant was quite cramped but hey everyone didn't really bother also...i t was very homely...probably because of the photos that he hanged everywhere on the walls. the photographs hung on the wall were all taken by him... den there was this authentic looking fan above us....which reminded me of my old house.. =) well the menu was unique.... in terms of wording... =) there was this dish which is super spicy....in the menu they said it was the revenge to the mother-in-law or something to that extent...charms has a copu of the menu... =) yeap yeap....we ordered the spicy dish and 3 other dishes... the waitress warned us that it was super spicy but hey it was nice...charms and i agreed we would bring hum ma and pa here... =) as for byron...hmmm i suggested his name first but charms said he didnt eat spicy....yeah..true..but we shall bring him here also..hahaha =) maybe becayse of the spicy food (which i haven't indulged in for such a long time) that is making my tummy feel really crappy....feeling slightly miserable now..bleah...BAH!!! went to the toilet three times already!!!!!!
hmm after that we went to watch a movie in chaddy...bahhh.... i slept almost through out the whole movie..was really drained from the day...hahahh... den we headed for home...
yeappp..so that were my two days......woke up because it was really cloudy and i had to bring in my clothes...yawnn...my stomach feels funnyyy...
renzi kissed and swore @
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Thursday, November 06, 2003
i'm getting slightly nervous now...the exam's in almost 1.5 hours time...going to get changed and stroll to the bus loop. man! this is the time once again when i feel i don't know anything ...relax renee...breathe in ....breathe out...AHHHHH....hmmm wish me luck.... =) going offline now~~~
renzi kissed and swore @
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renzi kissed and swore @
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argghhh..stupid...if i save something, how do i retrieve it?? bahhh...wasted my time...
well enjoying the weather, it's cool in my room and hot and sunny outside... =) niceeee....
anyway wrote this like yesterday but i thought i wrote too much already...so i'll cut and paste now...i wrote it 12 hours ago by the way...
hmmm i did study a bit...den went to sleep....going to study again..practice on some questions....
hmm for the entry that i'm going to cut and paste, there's a bit on friends... well feel free to read it...hahha i mean it was kinda spontaneous...if i do contradict myself well so sooo sorry... well life's full of contradictions ain't it? =) maybe i'm wrong on that....okayyy...haha and i am definitely not tryin to suggest that i'm some friendship guru...but well this is from the top of my head...and my few cents woth for the time being...
bahhhhhh.....waste time typing that one...okok...shall cut and paste
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I realised I wrote a lot today in my blog, so I shall save this for tomorrow (another reason’s because my server’s reallys low now)
Argghh! Procrastination…..IS NOT GETTING ME ANYWHERE. Maybe I should actually have like 2 to 3 papers in a week, that would push me. After studying for a subject for more than 3-4 days, I start to slacken. Now I don’t even know whether I know anything. Haha! That’s for sociology. Well I do know quite a bit but well maybe it’s because I didn’t do much yesterday. I get easily restless and well I just can’t do anything now. I’m feeling worse after taking a nap. Was kinda feeling very flushed and even feverish (maybe it’s just psychological but hey it worked man) so I went to sleep. Now it’s like 9.11pm (September 11th? Hahah) and I still don’t feel like doing anything. I just wanna get the exams over and done with. I still have psychology on next Thursday! Will I get so restless after studying for a few days? I hope not…I hate studyinnnnnnnnggggg.. yes yes some would shake their heads because I did so little studying but hey! I’m no typical Singaporean who eats and regurgitates man… don’t see the point in that…hahah and I don’t see the point in studying…but shall talk about that some other time…tink I’m kinda prepared for tomorrow already…maybe because I noe I passed this damn subject already…PLUS sociology is so damn dryyyyy *whineeeee*** doing sexuality and gender, education and work and globalisation this semester…and I’m in quite melancholic mood..dunno why…
Let’s see wanna talk about some things…dunno leh..after reading blogs (hate reading blogs.,..heheh but it’s enticing…) well got quite a bit to say…shall say what comes to mind I guess…like what I normally do. Sorry no structure eh! But heheh hope I have a point out of writing this..
Well wanted to leave this till after the exams but there’s still like 1 week plus…man!
Hmmm friends… what are friends? The word ‘friend’ is so vague but yet I’m sure each and everyone of us would at some point of time would narrow down their definitions of the very word because maybe the individual has found some one that can “click” with him/her…or maybe that particular individual is different from everyone that he/she knows (bah..he or she….let me just use HE okay? Very hard to use he or she…hehe)
So what is a friend? Some say a friend in need is a friend indeed. Yes I do agree but to put into the bigger picture that would only mean you run to the friend only when you have problems. Many do. I do that too. BUT a true friend is there also when you are happy, and not only when you’re sad.
Don’t know what I’m driving at, with sociology at the back of m head, that’s the best I can do…hahah let me continue… hmm should we have a criteria for friends? Why not? Should we? SERIOUSLY? I guess no matter how much we say NO, some part of us would still narrow down our friends, hey that’s human nature. I’m not blaming you, no one is. And if a person who consciously does that, good on ya but if by doing that being too picky or particular, well maybe it’s time to reaccess what you do because having a criteria, be it for your partner, family, or friends, just causes you to think, compare and criticize. And then again, I’m not saying comparing and criticizing is bad but not to the point where it engulfs you. What I mean to say is not one person in this earth (except for God of course) is perfect. Working towards perfection? By all means but leave that to yourself. Your friends are not ‘projects’ for you to work towards to. They have both their faults as well as good points. Why not see the good in them. They are your friends for crying out loud…and some would last you a lifetime, you can’t spend your lifetime comparing and criticizing because well you wouldn’t be happy and I’m very sure your ‘friend’ there would not be too happy with someone criticizing and comparing. Each individual is unique in his own way. Hey that’s why God made us all different =)
Haha of course criticize but don’t be overly critical. And yes there are some bad points that need to be curbed, but there are some bad points of some people that cannot be changed! Some bad points I can think of myself is that I’m quite stubborn at times, and I tend to take people for granted. For the former, it’s quite impossible to change but I can try (note the word try) being more open to opinions. And as for the latter, yes that has to be worked on. See my point? Some can be changed, some can’t. and as I’ve stated above, assess something before saying it out. Because once you’ve said something out, it can NEVER be taken back, and I repeat NEVER. Sometimes well it’s good to criticize but not all the time. Praise sometimes. Your friends sometimes need that. that's called an ego-booster by the way.. i'm not saying be patronising, but be sincere.. =) I need to start praising my friends more often. And that’s not sugar coating by the way. It’s loving your friend in another way. Yes yes if you’re a guy u’ll be like EEEEEEE…but come on it doesn’t hurt to make someone happy from time to time =)
to accept, and love… =) yes somethings may be an eyesore or something that should be changed because it’s affecting everyone, fair enough but if it only affects you (in a selfish way) then think before you speak. Acceptance is really another big word, because it’s tough to accept. Sometimes it takes days,or hours, at other times, it takes years. Love ahhh..another topic to be discussed is hard to grasp but try to love your friends. Hmm dunno whether I make sense but love and acceptance work hand in hand…
Arghh….got a lot to say but it’s all jumbled up…hmm well yeap it’s good to be honest. Look for the BEST time to say things. Yes honesty is the best policy but But sometimes people just wanna hear certain things…. Wait. Be patient. =) be honest yes but not brutally honest. There’s a difference. Your friends are not inhuman, they have feelings =)
Hahaha well for me I noe I’m a shitty friend (this goes to Kenneth as well)… hahha I noe I have my faults but I also have my good points as well (hahah bah feels like survivor when I say that…feels like I’m saving my ass in tribal council..argghh..stupid survivor) and sometimes I may have offended anyone in my speech or worse, my actions. If I do I’m really sorry. As for my bad points some can be changed, some can’t so I guess accept me for who I am? Hahah life’s all about learning and changing and well all I can say is change tends to be slow but hey! A step is better than none. And well all I can say is if u do have any problems… I can’t promise you great advice, but well a listening ear is enough I reckon and I can provide that…heheh…whenever I can that is….if I’m sleeping wake me up1!!! Hahahha yeap yeap…
Don’t walk in front of me because I may not be able to catch up..
don’t walk behind me because I may not be able to see how you’re doing
WALK BESIDE ME my friends, we can walk hand in hand
Yeap yeap…too much too much…shall say more when I finish my exams….
renzi kissed and swore @
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Wednesday, November 05, 2003
it's almost 2 and i'm only startin to erm...study a little bit more...bwahahha here's an email that i got from good ol' felicia...
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How To Be A Better Couple
10 steps to enjoying each other better...
1. Be realistic about each other.
Don't try to turn ur partner into something he or she is not. Let's face it, guys-there's only 1 Pamela Anderson in the world, and even she has had her implants removed! Give ur gal a break and understand that her physical appearance is NOT going to change overnite with the help of a few facials or treatments. And ladies, Brad Pitt has already been taken, so u're gonna have to do with what ur guy is like! Chill out, love each other for what u are. There is more to ur partner than what meets the eye.
2. Always talk things out.
Now guys, I know this is not ur fave pastime or mode of resolving issues, but u know what? This works with the gals. Don't make assumptions about each other's feelings. Learn to xpress urself better so that ur partner undrstands what u're angry about, or hurt about, or even happy about! When u stop talking to each other from the heart, it's the beginning of the end.
3. Do stuff together.
Make an effort to do things together. Do some sports or involve urselves in some shared activities; something both of u enjoy or are interested in. It could be as simple as watching movies together, or jus strolling hand-in-hand down Orchard Road. Watch soccor with him once in a while though the green patch on TV puts u to sleep in 3 seconds. And guys, do give in if ur gal asks for another day at window-shopping, rather than suggest that she go out with her girlfriends for "that sort of activities" instead. If u're spending more time with ur friends rather than with ur partner, it's a warning sign that u're drifting apart!!!
4. Meet each other halfway.
If he agrees to throw out that rotten T-shirt with the "The_Rock" print, u shouldn't kick up much of a fuss if he asks u to keep ur room tidy. There's gotta be a little giving and taking in a relationship, so learn to meet each other halfway.
5.Show ur love
Buy her flowers or candy or perfume everynow and then, even if u have been together for 5years. It's wonderful to continue showing someone that u care for him or her. Cook him a special meal, paint him a Valentine's Day card. Knit him mini-socks he can't wear ( like for decoration purposes => ), buy him a packet of milk for breakfast, or pack his wardrobe for him...so he knows u can still be romantic and loving despite having been together for quite a while.
6. Respect each other.
Stop making jokes about her hair or skin, or whatever it is u love to laugh at. Ask urself if she thinks if its funny. And if he has an inferiority complex about his height, stop ogling at tall guys and make him feel worse! Love is about respecting each other's feelings and being sensitive to each other at all times.
7. Bury the past.
Stop bringing up the past. Gals..don't bring up the happy things about u and ur ex to ur guy, it would jus make him jealous or unhappy. And guys, don't talk about the happy times that u had with ur ex or mention about her in ur every other sentence as it would make ur gal feel un-happy and she might think that u saying all this b'cos u are gonna get back with ur ex or not interested in her anymore.
8. Sit on ur jealousy.
All of us go thru' spells of insecurity at the beginning of the relationship, but don't translate that insecurity into jealousy. If u're gonna go through ur partner's mail and cupboard, and eavesdropping on conversations, u know something is wrong - with u!!! Jealousy is like a poison that slowly spreads thru' the relationship before finally killing it. Trust ur partner; love has to have trust in it.
9. Keep ur commitments to each other.
If ur partner is standing u up all the time and cancelling dates and breaking promises, u need to talk! If u're in a relationship, make ur partner ur priority and don't disappoint them if u can help it. It's really terrible when someone promises to take u to dinner, and then calls to cancel it. Don't make promises u can't keep. If ur partner starts to feel that he/she is not important enough to u, u may jus lose him/her.
10. Be honest.
Honesty is not scowling at how awful she looks first thing in the morning, or telling him that he has the biceps of a fly~! When we say "be honest", we mean expressing ur feelings clearly, not being bitingly cruel. When u're hurt, say so, and when u're angry, tell him/her, w/o getting hysterical. If u can't be honest with ur partner, who can u be honest with? æ Love is also about honesty, and a relationship where no honesty exists probably isn't worth it!
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goin back to studyin now...
renzi kissed and swore @
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Everybody Hurts (by REM)
When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone,
when you're sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on.
Don't let yourself go, everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes.
Sometimes everything is wrong. Now it's time to sing along.
When your day is night alone, (hold on, hold on)
if you feel like letting go, (hold on)
when you think you've had too much of this life, well hang on.
Everybody hurts. Take comfort in your friends. *wave***
Everybody hurts. Don't throw your hand. Oh, no. Don't throw your hand.
If you feel like you're alone, no, no, no, you are not alone
If you're on your own in this life, the days and nights are long,
when you think you've had too much of this life to hang on.
Well, everybody hurts sometimes,
everybody cries. And everybody hurts sometimes.
And everybody hurts sometimes. So, hold on, hold on.
Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. (repeat & fade)
(Everybody hurts. You are not alone.)
renzi kissed and swore @
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hahah finally can get online...okkkk....this entry is SUPER long...if u have the patience by all means...actually tis is for myself... =) in one of those moods where i just feel like writing and writing n writing...nonsense also writing ! hahahah anyway still very full from lunch...had pasta...wa lao....like the 3rd time this week....getting sick of it alreadyyy.... hahah yeapp...anyway this was written about an few minutes ago...will do that after i do this...heheh
IF you're free, check this out:
IF you're MORE free and wanna poke into another person's business, go to this website and poke to your hearts content *evil grin*** :
and IF you're really bored and have really really really nothing to do, go to this
heee...now for latest entry..hee
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Everythin can¡¦t be accessed on the internet¡Kthink it¡¦s because of my downloading of songs, as usual. Haha! Well the weather¡¦s pretty good out there¡Kthink it¡¦s moderately windy, which is good. But my room¡¦s really hot now¡Ksigh¡K.the bad thing about having the sun shine in during noon *shrug*
I can¡¦t do anything right now. Maybe I¡¦m giving myself tons of excuses. Today I went to the library to finish up what I didn¡¦t do yesterday and print out notes. Spent like what, erm at the most 2 hours? Then I went to the MUISS lounge and only found may, lai, that friend he always hangs out with and parveen. Man! I called kee hung and he was sleeping. But we arranged to have lunch. He came over, I cooked pasta and we watched tele. Haven¡¦t done that for donkey ages¡K I mean I haven¡¦t watched tv properly for a long time¡K so that was how I spent my day.
Then I¡¦m back in my room, feeling super super hot. I¡¦m quite glad I¡¦m not stayin for the summer, I think I will melt¡K
While I was showering I actually thought of a lot of what ifs¡Kshall type out some¡K.
WHAT IF¡K
„³ I did study for my PSLE: duh! Then I would have done better, and I would have gotten into a better school. But I thank God I did get into the school that I was posted to. After loads of rebellion and quarrels, I managed to convince my mum that I didn¡¦t wanna go back to *shiver* katong convent YUCK YUCK YUCK!!! Actually I didn¡¦t convince my mother, I just stood my ground. Thank goodness I did. Wouldn¡¦t have met all the great friends that I¡¦ve made and wouldn¡¦t have met the various types of teachers in my school. *sigh* I miss school, secondary school¡K
„³ I listened to my mother and went to my secondary school (katong convent, was from katong convent primary): NIGHTMARE!!! I hated katong convents, I hate convents in general. Maybe it¡¦s just a generalization but yeah¡KI just don¡¦t have a good feeling about convents. Most girls are loud and are just literally screaming for attention. Man! six years in primary school, I¡¦ve had it! Hahah well I¡¦m so glad I didn¡¦t go back. Hey there was a reason why I didn¡¦t even put KC as one of my 6 choices. No regrets =) and yeah¡Kwhat if? Hmmm I would probably be one of the most queit gals¡Kmaybe even a nerd! (not that I¡¦m not one now..hee) I may be even a lesbian¡KYUCKKKKK¡K. I mean I do have lesbian friends but I can¡¦t imagine myself being a lesbian¡Kyeap¡Kso that¡¦s that¡K.
„³ I went back together with Kenny: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH will never happen. BTW kenny¡¦s my ex, and he was a mistake. That¡¦s all I can say *grin* but if I did, I would have been blind. Maybe even deaf. I just can¡¦t stand him. But I must say, I saw a few photos in friendster, and he changed a lot¡K.but he¡¦s still short. Not that height played a part in our separation¡Khe¡¦s just short and irritating¡K
„³ I went after a guy that I liked very much: hmmm toughie¡Keach guy would have a different erm tactic? (if u wanna put it that way) erm let¡¦s say it¡¦s kangwei (the crush that I had for 3 years in secondary school) yes yes think Kenneth would say I¡¦m a sucker but hey I¡¦m a gal! if it¡¦s kangwei, think studies would come first for him and no matter how much I tried or what erm ¡§tactic¡¨ I¡¦d used it would be futile
„³ I had studied more during the O levels: would have gotten better marks¡KDUH!!! But I guess God wanted me to go to ACJC no matter what¡K hey I put AC as my first choice then I went down to the ministry of something to change my choice to SA as my first choice but I still went to AC¡Kman¡Ksays something already. Well AC was fun¡Kdidn¡¦t study much also. In fact I have to say that I study and do work more in the university than in junior college. What an irony! But I enjoyed most of JC life¡Ksigh¡KI still wanna be carefree¡K.sighh¡K.i don¡¦t wanna grow up¡Kdun wannnnnnn *whine* and without going to AC I wouldn¡¦t have met the greatest gal that i love so so much¡KKaren, my best friend¡K
„³ I haven¡¦t gone for the Australian geography trip in JC: I wouldn¡¦t have gotten to know my classmates better. We were like the target for lectures, scoldings, whatever u can tink of we got it¡K. You can say we¡¦ve been through quite a bit¡K =)
„³ I chose another combination in AC: er¡K I probably would have done better. Especially if I went into science instead of arts. But I¡¦m glad I got into AA2 =)
„³ I had dropped geography in secondary school: I would have gotten the same aggregate! =) hahah but yeah¡K.glad I didn¡¦t because I wouldn¡¦t have realized that I could actually make it for geography (I hated geography in sec sch¡Kwait¡KI still hate geography¡Kwhat do ya noe!!!?) hahah and I wouldn¡¦t have realized how my geography teacher really cared for me¡K.cheers to mrs lee! I love her!!!!
„³ I had actually spouted vulgarities at my band instructor: tragic¡K I would be popular! In a bad way =ppp hahahha well not that my principal and vice principal don¡¦t know me¡Khahahha
„³ I really joined Girls Brigade: hahah that would be what my mother wanted. Hahah well I would be more disciplined, would have more ECA points and would have had more bitchy gals bitchin (sounds like KC¡Karghh) but nahh..i can¡¦t stand being in an all-girls environment for too long¡Kwill dieeeee¡K. One girl is okay¡Kbut if like 4 or more congregate..SCARY!!! all hell break loseee!!!
„³ I really joined softball: HA! My ECA points would have been SOOOO good¡K =) not that it isn¡¦t good¡K hahah I would have been so fit¡K. Would have done so much better for runny, and would have again been more disciplined. Would have been more vulgar though¡Khahahaha
„³ I had quit the band: i wouldn¡¦t have realized that I actually can survive something and even perservere. In my head I always thought of myself as the quitter. And .. I wouldn¡¦t have made great buddies¡K especially, kum kit, Catherine, eemin, xiuying¡Kwe call ourselves the sentosa buddies. =))) miss them tons. Shall call them up when I get back¡K
„³ I hadn¡¦t come back for the start of secondary 3: I wouldn¡¦t be monitor. Hahha just for the record, I was monitor for 4 years. I was like some teachers¡¦ pet. Heheheheh
„³ I did run away from home: many a time I had the urge to run away from home. Well yeah for various reasons. But glad I stopped myself. Think if I really did I would have scared the hell out of my parents, not to mention make them feel like shit. Hmmm but still a thought nonetheless. Still remember one time when my parents announced that my little brother was coming home or well should I say my parents wanted to adopt my brother¡KI was like FUCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK¡K. Hahahha welll well hey! Can¡¦t blame me can¡¦t i? I was still a kid, actually 13 but still a kid! And I was so used to being the only child.
„³ I was still the only child: think life would still be the same. But when it came to decisions like coming over the Australia, I would have no hesitations to say YES. With my brother I have to think twice. I gave a lot of thought and consideration before I managed a ¡§yes¡¨ to coming to Australia. And guess I would still be very spoilt. Haha you should see me when I throw a tantrum.
„³ I am rich: as they say money can¡¦t buy everything. But money can buy ALMOST everything. I would go wild¡Kjust buying things!! Hahah yes yes selfish¡Kbut that¡¦s what first came to mind¡K
„³ I had other parents: dunno leh~ I mean I¡¦m happy with my parents now, my family in general. I guess no one will be satisfied, that¡¦s human nature. But I¡¦m happy with where I am now and my family. Yes I¡¦ve had my shitty times with my family especially my mum. But I wouldn¡¦t be where I am now without my parents (and God of course¡Kwill talk about that later) yeahh¡K and I really thank God for the both of them, especially my mum¡Klove her to bits =) think when I talk about her now or think about her now by myself (I¡¦m diff when I talk to my friends about her¡Kdunno why¡Kmaybe I¡¦m just too proud) it would just almost bring a tear to my eye
„³ I had a lot of time: I would waste it¡KI noe myself¡KI waste time, I waste food, I waste my life away doing the weirdest things
„³ I had stayed on working in the kitchen: HA!!! Well I would learn more things and learn how to cook properly..those were the days¡Kquite fun¡Kespecially I was the only gal¡Kcould ask the guys to help me..BWHAHAHAH
„³ I hadn¡¦t worked in Starbucks: man! I wouldn¡¦t have met so many people, both my colleagues and customers. Some customers are like shit (they can be mean and all) but some are just sweet and friendly. That is where I met soo many people, because liat towers is THE place. Hahah it¡¦s in orchard for crying out loud. You have tourists, business people, kids, school kids, working people¡Kyou name them you¡¦ve got them.. I just ENJOY life in starbucks to bits. But sometimes it¡¦s hard work when you¡¦re down on workers¡Kbleah! And as for the colleagues¡K. Some are lesbians, some are straight, some are nice to work with, others are just¡K nice as friends hahha made quite a few good friends and even mentors¡K =))) starbucks I¡¦m coming home!!!
Mann¡KI want to continue ¡K. I need more time¡Kbut oh well time to study¡Khahah! Byron! Check this out¡K. 1700 words in about 30-45 minutes¡Kwhoo!~~
Yeah wanted to like put them in various categories¡Kshould i?? hmmm nah those are my random thoughts¡Kwanted to write more¡Kbut there¡¦s just too much wat ifs¡K yes yes¡Kwhy just what ifs? Why not jus put it into reality? Well 1) some have already past¡K. It¡¦s too late to turn back time¡K I mean yeah sometimes I wish I could turn back time but I believe in my heart of hearts that God has a plan for all of these matter. I guess it¡¦s a matter of whether u can see it or not¡K but if u can¡¦t see it It should be revealed at some stage of your life *wink* and I really thank God that well things happen the way they happen¡K
2) well some are just really wat ifs¡KI mean some of these thoughts cannot be put into reality or some are plain unfeasible¡Klike what if I have diff parents¡Kthey are just thoughts¡K
3) dunno maybe the wat ifs will make me think back, regret yes and more importantly learn from whatever mistakes that I¡¦ve done¡K =)
so, have you WHAT-IFed today?
(to be continued¡Xafter the exams hee)
wa laoo¡Klike 4 pages in Microsoft word¡Kman!!!!
okay¡Kshall lie down for a while den start study¡KSTUDY RENEE!!